Any Man of Mine
by cricket527
Summary: Stephanie gets roped into doing Karaoke & decides to send a message. Now she's getting flower deliveries. Who's sending messages to whom? Rating for language, not smut. Pls let me know what you think of it. Thanks.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters; they are all the creative property of Janet Evanovich. I'm just having a little fun and I'm not making any money.

Any Man of Mine

Ever just get this insane urge to take the words of a song and shove them down someone's throat so he'd get the message? No? Well, consider yourself lucky. Me? Well, that's essentially what I did tonight. I still cringe at the memory of being up on that stage though. God, I hate putting myself as the center of attention. Goodness knows my job and "luck" do it often enough for me as it is. I tried to tell the girls that, but would they listen? Noooooooooooooooo!

Lula got it into her head that the way to deal with my relationship problems was to sing about them. Never mind that I'm not that good a singer. I mean, a few years in the children's choir at church does not a superstar make. Not to mention, that was easily twenty years ago.

"Girl, listen to me. Singing is therapeutic. I never realized how much until I joined The What." The What is a band a friend of mine, Sally Sweet, started a while back and Lula had signed on as a singer. Most of their gigs these days are at the senior centers around Trenton so what does she know about Karaoke therapy in a bar?

"Lula, I'm not going up there. No way." Once Mary Lou joined in though, I had no chance of winning this debate. So with a sigh, I downed the rest of my beer and headed to the Karaoke machine. I knew there was no way around it. I just hoped there wasn't anyone here who'd recognize me. Vain hope, I know. I wound up in the paper way more often than I'd ever want. See, I've got a problem with cars exploding around me, buildings too, even the local funeral home went up in flames when I was there one evening. It's never my fault, at least not directly, but it happens all the same. The local reporters have given me the moniker of the Bombshell Bounty Hunter as a result and I have a hard time being anonymous these days. Sometimes that can make my job a bit more difficult than it already is. As the nickname implies, I'm a bounty hunter, fugitive apprehension agent, whatever else you want to call it. My low life cousin Vinnie bonds out the local criminals. Some decide they don't want to show up for court and I usually get sent to drag them back into the system. The upside of the moniker is not so many people remember my real name which is Stephanie Plum.

As I waited for the guy at the Karaoke machine to finish explaining how it worked, I let my eyes wander around the room and instantly wished I hadn't.

Sitting at the bar, his back to me, but still unmistakably him, was Joe Morelli – one of the reasons Lula believed I needed song therapy. Joe is my on-again, off-again boyfriend. I wasn't sure which it was at the moment. We'd had yet another fight about my job and the fact that I just did not want to be a stay-at-home mother and housewife. Joe can't understand why I wouldn't want exactly that. He's not the only one either; my mother also refuses to understand it. I'd stormed out of Joe's place, headed to the bond's office, and run into Lula. Next thing I knew, I was in her firebird and we were here. She'd called Mary Lou in for back up and now I was standing here staring at Joe's back as he drained one beer and signaled for another.

"Well shit!" I thought. I can't go back to the table without doing this; Lula would just drag me back up here, possibly at gun point. I didn't have my car here either; Lula had driven. I briefly considered heading to the phone to call Ranger but I really didn't want to explain this to him. Ranger is my friend, my mentor, and the other half of my relationship problems. There is something undefined between us, and other than not knowing what it is, I'm usually okay with things. Confused, but okay. Calling Ranger was out and going back to the table was out. That left just one option. I was going to have to go through with the Karaoke. Looking over the list of song titles, I got an idea. Since I had to do a song anyway, maybe I could find one with some significance and get my message across to Joe. My eyes fell on "Any Man of Mine". Perfect! Country music isn't really my thing, but I knew this one thanks to a late night stake out in the sticks when all I could find on the radio was country, religious services, or political talk shows. I had opted for the country and the song had stuck in my mind because I could really understand the sentiment behind it.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and decided to just get it over with already. By now my last beer had started to set in and I wasn't as self-conscious. The music started as I walked on stage and shot a death glare at Lula and Mary Lou. They raised their glasses and grinned back. I had to look away.

Thank goodness for the words on the monitor in front of me because while I liked the song, I didn't exactly have it memorized. As the first words came out of my mouth, Joe turned around and stared at me dumbstruck and shaking his head. I caught his eye, willing him to understand, and decided just to focus on getting my message across. If he didn't get it after this, I didn't know what I'd do. As the song was finishing, I looked back up one more time, hoping to see realization dawning on Morelli's face. I didn't see him anywhere. Where in the world had he gone and how could he have just left?

I finished up and with my face flushed, both in embarrassment and anger, I went back to the table where the girls were at.

"Girl! That was something. Even if it was country. You want me to talk to Sally and get you into The What? You looked pretty intense up there. What's up with that?"

"I saw Joe at the bar and thought…oh never mind what I thought. It doesn't matter. It didn't work." _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _What was I thinking?! Did I really expect one song would break through that thick skull of his and make him see reality? See me for _me_ and not who he wants me to be? When all of our arguments over the years hadn't made a difference? Who am I trying to fool? I grabbed Mary Lou's drink, drained it, and sighed. "Can one of you please just take me home? I'm tired."

Mary Lou took me home since it was on her way and Lula agreed to pick me up in the morning so I could then get my car from where I'd left it parked outside the office on Hamilton.

Now I was in my apartment on the bed in my thinking position. The words of the song were replaying themselves over and over in my mind. Without any conscious thought on my part, I found myself taking the song apart verse by verse. Then it hit me. I had someone in my life who supported me like that. Accepted me. It just wasn't Joe. Shit! Having it be Batman didn't make my life any easier. Batman, otherwise known as Ranger, didn't really come across as boyfriend material. "Why me?" I wailed, sounding so much like my mother I shuddered.

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A/N: I tried to make sure my grammar and spelling were correct. If you find something distracting, please let me know.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2

"Talking to yourself, Babe?" Speaking of the Bat…

I rolled my eyes and sat up. Fixing Ranger with a pissy look, I mumbled something about making some noise once in a while. He quietly chuckled. I didn't bother to ask how he came to be standing in my bedroom, when I know I locked the door to the apartment. Ranger broke in on a regular basis. Hell, half of Trenton was known to break into my apartment with an alarming success rate. I wasn't really sure him being here was a good thing. My realization was fresh in my mind and with a few beers in my system, I didn't really trust myself to not say something stupid. "What do you want Ranger?"

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I refused to meet his eyes. I know he'd obviously heard that Joe and I had had a disagreement again. I just didn't know how much he'd heard.

"Babe..." was the only response I got from him.

"Who told?" I tried to get worked up and glare at him, but I was too drained. I just sighed.

"Tank. Lula called earlier to cancel their date. Something about you being upset and song therapy." Ranger raised an eyebrow questioningly at the last part.

"You don't wanna know." I answered his implied question and shook my head. "I had no idea Lula cancelled out on Tank tonight." Tank is Ranger's right hand man, his second in command at his security company Rangeman. He also happens to be dating Lula. Sort of. Actually I'm not sure what's going on between them exactly. "What's going on with the two of them anyway?" Subtle. _Good job Stephanie. Change the subject and maybe he'll forget all about "song therapy"._ Shrugging, Ranger gave me a look that clearly said he knew what I was up to and was going to let it go….for now.

"Car's in the lot. Call if you need anything." With that, he leaned over, kissed my forehead and was gone. Well, no worries about getting to work on time tomorrow. Lula never gets to the office on time so I'd have been late if I had to wait for her to come get me in the morning. I grabbed my cell phone, left Lula a message and got ready for bed.

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I managed to drag myself out of bed when my alarm went off in the morning, wishing I could kill the idiot who invented such torture devices. After a quick shower, I threw on one of my Rangeman uniforms strictly out of convenience. I knew I matched. No fuss, no muss. My hair and make-up weren't going to win me any beauty contests but I looked decent enough. I arrived at the office and walked in the door approximately 90 minutes after waking up. Not bad. I think it's a new personal record.

"Any new FTAs for me?" I asked by way of greeting as I shuffled in the door. I had stopped drinking last night just short of getting drunk enough to cause a hangover but I still wasn't feeling on top of my game.

"Yeah, but you're not getting them until you explain _this,_" Connie answered, waving her hand at a vase of roses on her desk. Connie Rosolli is Vinnie's office manager and bears a striking resemblance to Betty Boop. If Betty had a slight mustache and Jersey Girl hair, that is. She's a member of the Family, as in the Godfather type of Family but not an _active_ member if you catch my drift, at least as far as I know. The 'Burg grapevine would probably have let something slip if she was. After all, Connie is only a few years older than me and a 'Burg girl herself. Word would get around. I stared at the vase of flowers she indicated.

"Uh, roses?" I answered, wondering what there was to explain. "Surely you recognize roses when you see them. What do they have to do with me getting my files?" Lula and Connie exchanged a look.

"Uh Oh," I heard Lula mumble under her breath.

"Um…" Connie started. I looked back and forth between the two of them.

"Spit it out already!" I was starting to really wonder what was going on. Connie isn't usually tongue-tied, at least not unless Ranger was in the vicinity. Lula wasn't fanning herself so I was pretty sure this wasn't a Ranger-induced hormonally-charged short-circuiting of Connie's vocal capabilities. Connie continued to stammer and Lula apparently had had enough. With a disgusted look at Connie, Lula began to talk.

"They're for you. They were on the door step when Connie opened the office this morning." At that, Connie slid a small white envelope across the desk towards me. I took it and realized it must have been in with the flowers. On the outside one word was typed: _Bombshell_. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I carefully opened the envelope and trying to handle it only by the edges, I removed the card from inside. In the same type as the envelope, it read: _I got your message loud and clear last night. I plan to prove to you that I am the man for you._ Black dots swam into my vision. I saw Connie's mouth moving but I heard nothing except the sound of the blood rushing through my veins. My legs gave out and I collapsed.

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AN: I have decided to try elaborating on this when/if the muse cooperates. If you are enjoying this, I'd like to know. If you have constructive critiques, I'd like to hear them. Standard Disclaimer applies -- they are all Janet's characters and I'm just exercising my creative writing skills, definitely not making any money on this.


	3. Chapter 2

Spoiler Alert: May contain spoilers to any and all books to date (including any that are released between now and when I finally finish this). You have been warned.

Chapter 2

I slowly became aware of my surroundings again. I was half sitting on the floor, half leaning against the front of Connie's desk. I probably would have smacked my head on the floor something good if the desk hadn't been there. Connie and Lula were squatting next to me, staring at me with concern written all over their faces. I wracked my brain trying to remember what I was doing in this position and what warranted the looks on their faces. I looked down at my lap. Ah ha! There was a card from a florist shop in my lap. That's right. I remember now. And now, I'm going to forget. Denial is definitely the course of action to choose here. Sound started to filter past the pounding in my ears and I heard Ranger's name mentioned.

"No!" I suddenly shouted, startling Lula so much she fell back and landed on her backside.

"Ooof!" Lula expelled with a grunt. "What the hell you do that for?"

"Sorry. No Ranger, no need. It's okay. I know what this must be about. I was just surprised. Really. There's no need to start up a Code Red alert." I knew I was babbling but I couldn't have them calling Ranger. No way. I had made a complete fool of myself last night with that song and Joe, and I'd just as soon Ranger not know about it. I didn't see any reason to raise an alarm that would have the men in my life trying to put me in a safe house and or have a body guard on me 24/7 just because I received flowers with a cryptic message. It's not like I was being threatened with harm or death. I scrambled to come up with something believable, anything remotely plausible to get them off the idea of calling in the troops. "The flowers must be from Joe. We had another fight yesterday, remember? He must be trying to make it up to me." I gave Lula a "duh" look.

"Huh! Since when does Officer Hottie send roses? You two fight all the time; this is the first time I've seen flowers show up here. And what does that card mean about 'getting the message'?" Lula didn't look like she was buying my explanation and every word she'd said was true. Joe doesn't send flowers; flowers never even cross Joe's mind. Joe's idea of making up was sex. I sighed.

"I told you last night that I saw him at the bar. I picked that song to get his attention. It must have worked after all." I gritted out through my teeth as I pushed myself up off the floor and headed for the dingy couch across the office from Connie's desk. Since Connie didn't ask about the song and why a song would get Joe's attention, I could only assume that Lula had already filled her in on last night's escapades. _Beautiful._ I thought to myself sarcastically. I sat down on the far end of the couch. I wanted distance between me and those roses. As much distance as possible. If I could will them into outer space it still wouldn't be far enough away for me. As much as I was trying to deny it to myself, I was getting weird vibes from those stupid roses. Connie and Lula were exchanging looks again. I sighed. I'm pretty sure I knew what they were thinking.

The last time I got cryptic notes with flower deliveries, the Web Master, aka Clyde Cone, was playing a murderous game of cat and mouse with me. For that reason alone, if I had had any doubts, I was pretty certain these flowers were not from Joe and I knew without a doubt they weren't from Ranger. For one thing, Ranger would never have left flowers outside the office. If he wanted to have flowers here for me, he'd have unlocked the office and left them on Connie's desk himself. Not likely he'd leave flowers for me here though; most likely he'd have left them in my apartment. Ranger is a very private person. I cannot see him leaving flowers for me in public. For another thing, Ranger would never address a card to me as "Bombshell". Come to think of it, I didn't think Joe would either. The only people foolhardy enough to call me Bombshell to my face were the media and the occasional "Bombshell groupie" who followed the news stories about me. Anyway, neither man would be so inconsiderate as to send flowers with a cryptic message after what happened with Clyde. They would be worried about me freaking out, and they would be right.

"Just let it go. I'll swing by and thank Joe in person for the flowers later. Can I have my files now?" I heard Lula mumble something under her breath about the card being addressed to Bombshell and not Cupcake but I decided to let it go for now. Like I said, denial is the action of choice right now. If I deny I heard it, I don't have to think about the implications. Yep! Denial is a friend.

I glared at her and put a sickeningly fake smile on my face as I turned towards Connie, hand outstretched for my files. "I explained the roses, now, my files."

"Suuuure." Connie said, handing me three files. "Carmine LaPaglia – domestic violence. Jonathon Marcantel – disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Kevin Brokal – possession. Be careful with LaPaglia. I saw the pictures of his wife. Not a pretty sight. He's a repeat offender."

_Great!_ Just what I needed – a skip who didn't think twice about smacking the shit out of a woman and knew enough to know what "rescheduling his court appearance" would really mean. I definitely don't plan on going after _that_ one alone if I can help it. "What about Marcantel? You said he resisted arrest?"

"Not much to worry about there. He locked himself in his car and refused to unlock the doors for the cops. His car is a '68 Chevy Impala. You know, the kind of car before automatic locks? Well anyway, every time the cops went to pop the locks with a hanger, he'd straighten it back out and they'd have to start again. Apparently he also taunted them with some unflattering nicknames through the closed windows. He was drunk as a skunk." Connie rolled her eyes. I could imagine the types of things he said.

"Okay. I'm going now. I'm going to go thank Joe for the flowers and see if I can get some more information on Marcantel from him and the guys at the cop shop. Wanna come with?" I asked Lula. I knew what her answer would be, but I asked anyway.

"Hell No! I mean, no thank you. I have a lot of filing to get done here." I rolled my eyes. Lula used to be a hooker, working one of the corners on Stark Street. Benito Ramirez got his hands on her in an attempt to get a message to me and showed Lula first hand how deadly the world's oldest profession could be. Once she healed from the brutal attack, she altered her career plans but still has an aversion to the police station. That and the shockingly bold spandex wardrobe are two remnants of a lifestyle Lula preferred to keep mostly in her past. I knew she wouldn't go with me. I was counting on it actually. I had no intention of _thanking _Joe for flowers I knew he didn't send, but I would still stop and talk to Eddie Gazzara or Carl Costanza about Marcantel.

I gathered my stuff, sliding the card carefully into its envelope and placing it in my purse. It was definitely going in a plastic bag as soon as I could get access to one – just in case it suddenly became evidence. I purposely left the flowers on Connie's desk. She looked like she was going to say something about them, but before she could I spoke. "I'd like to keep them here for now if you don't mind. They'd just wilt in the car. Take care of them for me for a day or so, okay?" Connie nodded. I gave them both a finger wave and forced myself to walk as normally as possible out the door. The truth was those flowers scared me.

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Standard Disclaimer applies – they are Janet's, I am practicing my writing skills, no payment is being received. I'm trying (not too successfully apparently) for longer chapters. If you like, please let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know.


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2

Standard Disclaimer applies – they are Janet's, I am practicing my writing skills, no payment is being received.

Chapter 2 Part 2

The guys at the station had no new information to give me on my skip, other than confirming my suspicions about the choice phrases he used while locked in his car. Heading back out to my car, I sighed in relief. Thankfully, I had managed to avoid Joe. I didn't want to face him after last night's debacle at the bar. I guess I'm a bit pissed at him for disappearing like that. I know this relationship between us needs to end; it certainly isn't going anywhere, but I'm not up to the scene right now. Hey, if I'm not facing him, I don't have to face the way things are, right? Did I mention that I do denial well?

I looked at my watch. Lunch time. I had a few choices. I could go back to the office and get Lula. We could get something eat and then attempt to go after a skip. Not the best idea, the way I was feeling right now, I might actually be tempted to shoot someone. I could go to my parents. Again, I might shoot someone. I could go to Rangeman. Problem is, I didn't know if Ranger would be there. One look at my face and Ranger would know something was bothering me. I wasn't ready to tell anyone, especially Ranger, about the flowers yet. They could be a simple, one time, no big deal thing. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I'm sure that's all they are. That left one option. Home.

I parked my newest rust bucket on wheels in my lot and headed into the building. I have, at least for now, given up on the idea of driving anything other than a rust bucket since my cars go up in flames anyway. I got sick of the hassle. If my life ever calms down enough that my cars stop exploding, then I'll get a real car, one to make up for all these POS vehicles. In the meantime, this thing runs. I said a quick prayer as I was getting out of the elevator on my floor that my apartment was empty except for Rex, my hamster and roomie. I wasn't in the mood to handle finding someone uninvited in my apartment. Someone must have taken pity on me because my apartment was exactly that. I locked the door behind me, more out of habit than any real belief it would keep anyone out, except maybe my mother. Not that I was expecting a visit but still, better to be prepared. I gave Rex a grape from the bowl near his cage and fixed myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich. Washing the sandwich down with a Coke, I went into the bedroom and flopped on my bed in my thinking position. Truth is I knew there was a good chance I wasn't going to be doing any real work today. It just wasn't a skip tracing kind of day for me. I was too tired to worry about it.

I must have fallen asleep while "thinking" because when I opened my eyes, I realized it was almost sunset. _That's odd._ I thought to myself as I realized I hadn't been woken up by my phone ringing for the time I was out nor had Lula tried to break down my door to make sure I was okay. It's not often I head out of the office in the morning and not make it back before Connie closed up. _Oh well._ I'm glad I got the sleep. I feel a lot better now than I did this morning. Slowly getting my bearings about me, I suddenly flashed back to a dream I'd had. Ranger had come into my bedroom while I was sleeping, asked if I was okay, told me not to scare him like that again, kissed me softly and left. It was an odd dream and certainly not my usual Ranger-involved dream. While those types of Ranger dreams were realistic enough to leave me in a state, this one seemed real on a whole different level. I got up and took care of business in the bathroom, not awake enough to cringe when I saw my hair. I just pulled the unruly curls into a pony-tail and figured that was good enough for hanging out in my apartment with Rex.

I stopped short as I walked into the kitchen. The answering machine on the counter was blinking, indicating I had messages. Next to the answering machine, my cell phone was off and plugged into the charger. I know I hadn't heard my phone ring, either of them. Last I knew of my cell phone, it was in my black bag with the rest of my stuff. I shook my head a little as if to clear cobwebs from my vision and re-focused on the scene in front of me. This time, I saw a note next to my cell phone. I looked around cautiously. Nothing else seemed out of place. Seeing that my door was still locked, I let out a sigh of relief. I was pretty sure I knew who did this. Joe had a key and could have come in and gone without disturbing much. I usually heard him though and in the middle of the day he wouldn't have been particularly quiet. That pretty much left Ranger. Ranger moved like smoke when he wanted to. A talent I'm sure came in handy when overthrowing regimes in third world countries.

I picked up the note and read it. _"Babe. Call me." _Well, I guess it wasn't a dream after all. I felt my knees go weak at the realization. _Wait a minute! _Why would Ranger say I scared him? Batman doesn't do scared. Weird. Oh well, file it away in the drawer labeled "Examine later". Procrastination is a lot like denial at times. I don't know how long ago Ranger was here, but my cell phone looked like it had reached fully charged status a while ago.

I pressed speed dial one on my cell phone and made my way to the couch.

"Yo."

"Yo yourself. What's up?"

"Sleeping beauty finally awakes. Just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. I was just tired. Why would you think otherwise?" I tried to keep my voice steady. I was fighting the warm fuzzy sensation in the pit of my stomach that developed when he called me Sleeping Beauty.

"Tank called me earlier. Seems Lula called him when she couldn't reach you on your cell phone. It came with a charger for a reason Babe." I could hear the small almost smile in his voice. _Jerk._

"Oopsie. Guess I'll have to call her and apologize. Anything else?"

"Yeah. We need to talk." _Shit!_ I know that tone in his voice. He knows about the flowers. I bit my lower lip as my brain quickly scrambled to find a reason not to see him in the near future – like say the next 20 years. My brain didn't work quick enough as he started speaking again. "See you at 8," and he hung up on me.

"Damn!" I blew out a sigh causing the bangs on my forehead to fly up briefly. Then I looked at the time on my cell phone and the swearing really started. It was already 7:15. My call to Lula was going to have to wait. I ran for the shower in a panic.

Forty minutes later, as I was putting on the final touches to my make-up, I heard the lock on my door tumble.

"I'll be out in a minute," I called out assuming it was Ranger. I did a mental cringe when I heard Joe's voice call back an acknowledgment. _Shit! Could my day get any more complicated._ What the hell was Joe doing here? I looked at the clock, I had less than 5 minutes to get him out of here before Ranger showed up. Why me?

"What do you want Joe? I have plans," I hoped he would get the hint, speak his piece, and leave. Apparently, that was asking too much. I poked my head out the bathroom door and watched as Joe made himself at home on my couch with the remote control.

"Thought I'd come check on my girl. The guys said you were in the station asking about one of your skips this morning. Why didn't you stop by and see me?" _Ugh! Mental headslap. _I rolled my eyes as I added another layer of mascara to my eyelashes.

"Maybe because I'm still mad at you? We had a fight last night, remember?"

"Cupcake, we always have disagreements. I figured you'd have calmed down by now and come to your senses." I stifled the urge to scream. I wondered briefly if Ranger had also loaded the gun I kept in my cookie jar when he was here earlier. He's been known to do that. I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I decided it was easier to agree with Joe in the hopes of getting him out of here for now.

"You know what, Joe? I have come to my senses. Now you need to leave. I told you, I have plans." By this time I had stepped out of the bathroom and was facing him, hands on hips. One look at his face and I could tell there was no way I was going to get him out of this apartment in the two minutes before Ranger was due here. Joe was not going to be happy to find out my plans were with Ranger.

"What plans?" Joe asked. His face had brightened when I said I'd come to my senses but when he realized I had also told him to leave, he had begun to scowl. As I heard the door open again, I fought the urge to go down the fire escape outside my bedroom window.

"Dinner with me." Ranger came through the door carrying containers of food. They weren't carry-out containers in the traditional sense. It must have been Ella's cooking. I felt my mouth water and quickly checked for drool. Ella was Ranger's housekeeper at Rangeman. I'd fallen in love with her cooking when I'd stayed at Rangeman during the whole Slayer mess. I don't know how she does it, but she manages to make even that healthy usually tasteless stuff Ranger prefers to eat taste good.

Joe stood up, fists clenched at his sides. He glowered at Ranger and took a step forward. "I don't think so," he ground out between clenched teeth. Ranger just lifted an eyebrow. _Now,_ I pleaded with the universe, _now would be a good time for the floor to open and swallow me whole. _

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A/N: If you like it, let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, let me know. If you find grammar/spelling errors that are distracting, let me know.


	5. Chapter 2 Part 3

Standard Disclaimer applies – they are Janet's, I am practicing my writing skills, no payment is being received.

Spoiler Alert – Any part of this story may contain spoilers and/or references to any books in the series so far and in the future between now and completion. You have been warned.

Chapter 2 Part 3

The universe apparently didn't want to come to my rescue because I was still standing here after I counted to ten. Thinking maybe my last plea was a little extreme for the universe, I tried another. _Please don't let there be bloodshed. _Ranger is so self-controlled that I wouldn't have thought this a serious problem in the past. However, ever since the Scrog incident, Ranger has been a bit more…well, to use his word, "stupid" about the whole Morelli dynamic in my life. His word, I swear it! He's been known to provoke Joe on more than one occasion since that time they both tried to move in with me. I tried to ESP to him that I wasn't going to be happy if this was one of those times.

"Morelli," Ranger's voice was like ice. "Stephanie and I have Rangeman business to discuss. You can leave now." I sent a quick _thank you_ skyward. I was thankful that Ranger hadn't either gone for his gun or baited Joe into thinking this was a romantic dinner. Ranger walked into the kitchen and began dishing up dinner.

"I'll leave when Stephanie asks me to." That earned Joe an angry 'Burg-girl glare from me. Hello? I thought I already told him to leave. I counted to ten. I looked at my cookie jar, again, wondering if my gun was loaded. I counted to ten again and realized I've been doing that a lot lately. It still didn't work, because I still felt the urge to shoot someone. I decided I needed to purposefully move away from my gun so I walked farther into the living room. I stepped in front of Joe but still out of arm's reach, thinking that if I couldn't shoot him, slapping him might be a nice alternative. I lowered my voice even though I knew Ranger would still be able to hear me. Ranger has exceptional hearing. I was hoping to keep Joe from starting a shouting match.

"Joe. I already asked you to leave. I told you I had plans for this evening. I will talk to you later." _Yeah, like when hell freezes over._ I really could do without ever having the conversation I knew Joe and I needed to have. 'Burg natives don't do well with expressing our feelings; hell, we barely admit our feelings to ourselves half the time, let alone _discuss_ them.

"Fine, Cupcake." Joe took a step towards me and leaned forward, clearly intending to kiss me. I turned at the last moment so he wound up kissing my cheek instead. Joe stared at me a moment but I was already on my way to open the front door to show him out. He sent a glare in the direction of kitchen and left the apartment. I locked and chained the door behind him. I leaned my back against the door, closed my eyes, and blew out a big sigh. Being in the same air space with Joe and Ranger is overwhelming on a good day; after last night's realizations, it was suffocating.

"Thank you." I said to Ranger when I felt his gaze on me.

"For?"

"Not baiting him. Not making the situation any worse." I opened my eyes and sent a weak smile his way.

"Doesn't suit my purposes at the moment," Ranger was almost smiling again.

"And those purposes would be…?" I sent a grin his way. Honestly, I was just trying to lighten the tension. I wasn't flirting. I swear. Ranger walked over to me, and leaned against the door, an arm on either side of my shoulders.

"This comes to mind," he whispered before kissing me. I felt my toes curl and my back arch. I leaned into the kiss, forgetting my aggravation at Joe and the fear that Ranger knew about the flowers. I think I whimpered when Ranger finally pulled away. "Come on, dinner's getting cold." With a rumble, my stomach reminded me that my sandwich from lunch was several hours too long ago.

I followed Ranger into the kitchen and fixed a plate. Ella had made lasagna with what appeared to be a mixture of both meat and veggies. There was also a salad and garlic bread. When Ranger opened the fridge to get out some bottled water, I noticed a plate with a single slice of chocolate cake on it. I love Ella. I took my plate and the water Ranger had handed me, and went to sit down on the couch. Ranger followed. After a few bites, I came up for air enough to ask, "What Rangeman business?"

"None at the moment. I used that as an excuse to Morelli out of here. We need to talk about what happened earlier."

"Speaking of earlier, did you wake me up when you stopped by?" I took another bite of lasagna and watched Ranger's face carefully. He didn't usually give a lot away, but if I was observant enough, every so often I'd see something in his face before it was blank again.

"Yes." Damn! Not even a hint of something.

"Why?" I decided I'd try the one word thing and see if I got anywhere with that.

"Because I wanted to make sure you were okay. Lula was very upset when she contacted Tank. Something about mystery flowers and then she couldn't reach you." Ah! She had said something. Part of me wanted to scream, but another part could understand her concern at not being able to reach me. I do tend to get kidnapped on a semi-regular basis.

"Oh."

"Explain." I rolled my eyes at him. It wouldn't do to act like I didn't know what he was insisting I explain about. If he didn't already know it and I really refused to talk, he'd just call Tank and have him bring Lula over here to explain it. He was going to find out one way or the other.

"Fine. It's nothing. I was tired. I came home to get lunch, laid down for a minute and fell asleep. There was a flower delivery at the office today. Apparently they were for me. Lula's overreacting. It's nothing." I pushed away my empty plate and headed directly for the fridge. I was going to need that chocolate cake if I had to discuss the creepy flowers, even more so since I knew it would mean explaining to Ranger about song therapy and last night at the bar.

"Where's the card? Lula told Tank you took the card with you." Damn! I didn't think either of the girls noticed that. I got it out of my purse and went to hand it to him. Ranger indicated I should set it directly on the kitchen table, so I did.

"I'm telling you, it's nothing. Someone must be playing a practical joke on me. That's got to be it." I watched Ranger read the card. I thought I saw his hand clench into a fist briefly but when I looked back, it was by his side, like the other one. I must have imagined it. I backed away from the table, shoving a big forkful of cake into my mouth. I let out a contented sigh. Ranger looked up at me and smirked.

"Who were you sending a message to, Babe?"

"Morelli." That got me a raised eyebrow.

"Morelli sent you those flowers? Morelli doesn't seem like the anonymous flower delivery type."

"He's not. They aren't from him. You didn't ask who they were from, you asked who I was sending a message to." I said the last in a "duh" tone of voice and shoved more cake into my mouth. Not exactly a dainty lady thing to do, but hey, I need this chocolate. I was being a smart ass and I knew it. I couldn't help it. I did not want to have this conversation. Ranger wasn't going to let it go though so I knew this conversation was going to take place anyway. That doesn't mean I have to make it easy on him. Ranger simply stared at me. I tried staring back; I used to be good at staring contests with my sister, Valerie, when we were kids.

"Huh! Fine. Joe and I had a fight yesterday. Lula and Mary Lou took me to the bar. I got talked into doing Karaoke. I noticed Joe was there. I picked a song with him in mind. Mary Lou brought me home. Flowers were at the office this morning when Connie opened. I was taken by surprise. End of story." I put the last of the chocolate cake into my mouth and glanced down at the crumbs and frosting left on the plate. It probably wouldn't do to lick the plate. Darn! I got up to put the plate in the sink. Better to remove the temptation from in front of me before I licked it clean anyway.

"Anyone else there you know?" Ranger was going into protective mode.

"No, but that doesn't mean anything. I've been in the paper so often any number of people could "know" me. Before you even start," I said placing my hands on my hips, "I don't need a body guard and I'm not going to be locked up. It's one stupid vase of flowers and a note. No threat of injury or death. They weren't even delivered here. With any luck, this guy has no idea where I live."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's not a big deal. I've received worse, on multiple occasions."

"Promise me, you'll call me immediately if you receive anything else."

"It's nothing."

"Babe."

"Okay, fine, I promise. Happy?" In a heartbeat, he was in front of me. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as he moved his lips closer to mine. He gave me a soft gentle kiss and pulled me to the couch where we both sat back down. He put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into his side.

"So, what was your fight with Morelli about?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

"Apparently not." Ranger reached over and grabbed the remote where Joe had tossed it on the table. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the scent of Bulgari and warm Ranger. Soon I was almost asleep.

"I could stay like this forever." I said on a contented sigh, almost like a whisper. I felt Ranger's lips brush the top of my hair.

"One day." He whispered. I was asleep before I could I try to analyze what he meant.

--------

A/N: If you like it, let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, let me know. If you find grammar/spelling errors that are distracting, let me know.


	6. Chapter 3 Part 1

Standard disclaimer applies: They are JE's, I'm just borrowing them to practice and I even promise to return Ranger unharmed and unmolested by me.

Spoiler Alert – Any part of this story may contain spoilers and/or references to any books in the series so far and in the future between now and completion. You have been warned.

Chapter 3

I bustled my way into the office the next morning, not wanting to think about the implications of how well I had slept last night. I found myself in my bed, changed into my usual sleeping attire of a roomy t-shirt, when I woke up this morning. I could tell from looking at the pillow on the other side of the bed that I hadn't spent the night alone. I smiled to myself. I never sleep as soundly as I do when Ranger's in the same bed with me -- even with nothing going on. I was jarred out of my thoughts by the sight of a vase of tulips sitting on Connie's desk, next to the roses from yesterday.

Shit! I wanted to scream, but that would mean admitting there was something wrong, which I wasn't about to do. I greeted the girls as normally as I could and walked over to Connie's desk. "Got any new skips for me?"

"No, and _Bombshell_ got more flowers this morning."

"I see that." I leaned over as if to smell the flowers. The flowers were beautiful and if I knew they weren't from a crazed person, I'd actually feel all squishy and have warm fuzzies over being sent flowers. I discreetly reached in and pulled out the card that was stuck in the display. Just like yesterday, the envelope read "_Bombshell_". I slipped the card directly into my bag; I wasn't about to give Lula another opportunity to point out how unlikely it was that the flowers were from Joe.

"You have another fight with Officer Hottie? More make-up flowers?" Lula asked with a skeptical look on her face. This I could answer quite honestly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did. Actually, I'm not sure you can call it another fight so much as a continuation of the one from the day before. Joe showed up a little after I got off the phone with you last night." I had managed to get in a quick apology call to Lula between my shower and getting ready for Ranger's visit.

"You still so sure these flowers are from Morelli?" Connie gave me a look like she knew better.

"Must be. I don't know who else would be sending me flowers." I said with a lot more confidence and pep than I actually felt. I remembered promising Ranger I'd call him if I got any more unexpected surprises but I couldn't do that in front of the girls. They'd never back down then. "I'm going to make a quick run to the Tasty Pastry. I'll be back in a few minutes." I said over my shoulder as I headed out the door before either of them could say anything else.

Once I got back in my car, placing the doughnuts on the seat next to me, I called Ranger.

"Yo Babe."

"Yo yourself. Guess what?" I tried to postpone the inevitable. Once I actually told Ranger about the latest flowers and handed this off to him, I would have no real choice but to admit that I had another stalker.

"Babe."

"Come on, you gotta guess." I got no response that time. I could hear him breathing so I knew he hadn't hung up on me. I rolled my eyes. "Fine. It's nothing but I promised so I'm calling. There was a vase of tulips left at the office. Still only addressed to _Bombshell_ not Stephanie."

"What does the card say?"

"I don't know. I haven't read it. It's in my bag."

"Babe." I could hear the mild amusement in his voice this time. I sighed and dug into my bag.

"Fine," I opened the envelope and read it to Ranger. "_Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman. I'd love to hear your two lips say my name_." I shivered. Ew!

"Where are the flowers now?"

"At the office and they are going to stay there for right now. There still haven't been any threats. They are just flowers. Let Connie and Lula continue to enjoy them. Please." I knew Ranger's first instinct would be to start tracing everything down, including starting with having the vases checked for prints. I wouldn't have even called him if I hadn't promised.

"I want the card."

"When and where?" I could handle that. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Office in 3." Click. I wasn't feeling particularly mature at the moment so I stuck my tongue out at my phone before I put it back in my bag. I started the car and headed back. Ranger and I got to the office within seconds of each other. I kept two of the doughnuts in the car for myself and grabbed the rest to take in to Lula and Connie. I sighed wistfully as I looked over at the Porsche 911 Turbo, black of course. Of all of Ranger's kickass cars, it was my favorite. I scowled down at my lousy car before meeting Ranger's gaze.

"Babe." I could hear the amusement in his voice even though he was wearing that frustratingly blank show-no-emotions non-expression of his. I screwed up my face in an oh-so-mature grimace. He walked over and slung his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into his embrace and kicked one of the tires. I felt Ranger shaking with silent laughter.

"Sending this one to car heaven would be doing it a favor." I rolled my eyes at him and reached into my bag. I gave him the card, glad to be rid of it. "You still have no idea who these are from?"

"Nope. Nobody I knew there except Joe, Mary Lou, and Lula."

"What are your plans for today? Do I need to put a guy on you?"

I shook my head. "No. You don't. There haven't been any threats. If it comes to threats, then I'll consider it. Until then, I don't need a friggin' baby sitter." I gave Ranger a 'Burg girl glare to reinforce my position. "I'm just about to check in and see if Lula wants to ride along on a pickup. Some guy who got drunk and resisted arrest by locking himself in his car."

"Babe."

"Don't 'Babe' me, Ranger. I'm carrying the GPS pen in my bag, Lula will be armed, and I repeat, there have been NO threats." _Yet_. It was the unspoken word at the end of my declaration. Ranger knew it; I knew it. We'd both seen this scenario play out too many times to _not_ know it.

For right now however, I was going to make the most of the time I had before I _did_ have to worry so much. At some point during this whole thing, I knew I'd wind up with a body guard. Since most skips tend to come with me a lot more willingly when a well-muscled scary looking Merry Man was with me to intimidate them, I'd wait to pick up LaPaglia until then. In the meantime, I knew Lula and I should be okay to handle Marcantel on our own.

I softened my glare a bit. "Look, I promise if I feel threatened or my Spidey-sense indicates anything more than a general creepy feeling, I'll call and ask for a guard, okay?"

Ranger had smirked just slightly when I mentioned my Spidey-sense. His expression serious again, he looked into my eyes, looking for _what_ I wasn't quite sure. Apparently he found what he was looking for and nodded. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. He kissed my forehead and led me towards the office. "Come on, I don't want to be held responsible for keeping those two from their doughnuts."

We were greeted by stunned silence when we walked into the office. I wasn't sure exactly why until I felt Ranger remove his arm from my shoulders as he went to hand Connie some body receipts. Connie and Lula exchanged a look and both turned on me, eyes dancing. I gave them both a death glare. Lula glanced at the flowers, and then trailed her eyes to Ranger. I could see the wheels spinning in her mind and when her mouth opened, I spoke up, cutting her off. "I'm going after Marcantel. Wanna ride along?" I saw Connie do her best to hide a smirk as she realized what I was doing.

"Hunh! I might as well. Nothin' to do 'round here anyway." Lula grabbed a doughnut with one hand, her purse with the other, and headed towards the door. I hesitated a moment, debating the wisdom of pointing out that there was always filing to do. I mean, technically that _is_ Lula's job. I decided against it. I did a slight eyeroll in Connie's direction and followed Lula to the door.

"See ya guys later," I said to Connie and Ranger. Connie did a fingerwave. Ranger caught my eyes with his. The intensity of his gaze startled me. My throat went dry as all the moisture in my body rushed south. Did someone turn up the heat? Oh boy!

----

AN: If you like it, let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, PLEASE let me know. If you find grammar/spelling errors that are distracting, let me know.


	7. Chapter 3 Part 2

Standard disclaimer applies: They are JE's, I'm just borrowing them to practice and I even promise to return Ranger unharmed and unmolested by me.

Chapter 3 Part 2

"Hey Big Dog. You gotta come see this." I gave Carl Costanza a death glare and an honest to goodness Italian hand gesture. He chuckled and cautiously put an arm loosely around my shoulders.

Big Dog came around the corner. "Jeez Steph, I think this is a new one. What is that? Paint?" That was a reasonable question considering I looked like a walking Jackson Pollock painting.

"Close enough. Vinegar and food coloring. Turns out my skip, Marcantel, has a day job as a new age starving artist. He throws balloons filled with warmed vinegar and food coloring onto fabric. Apparently he got the idea after watching the mess his niece and nephew made coloring eggs at Easter time." Could I have had the insight to wear one of my Rangeman uniforms today? No. Of course not. I had to wear a light tan T-shirt and jeans to pick up my skip. Marcantel didn't take kindly to having his work on his current masterpiece interrupted by Lula and me. So he decided to use us as targets. Lula didn't look quite as bad as I did – her skin coloring wasn't conducive to absorbing the dye so she looked more like she attempted to tie-dye hot pink spandex. I, on the other hand, would be exfoliating for days before I stopped looking like a rainbow threw up on me. I almost regretted insisting Lula leave her Glock in the car. Part of me wishes I'd just let her shoot him.

I made a move to leave Carl and Big Dog to their discussion about how close food color bombs came in regards to the running bets around the station concerning my latest disasters when Carl tightened his hold on my shoulders.

"Joe wanted us to let you know he'd like to talk to you if you came in. He's back in his office." Carl shot me an almost sympathetic look that instantly set me on edge. "He's been in a real bad mood the last several days. I don't suppose you know why?" I didn't know exactly and I wasn't keen to find out anytime soon. I knew I'd have to talk to Morelli sooner or later but I hadn't pictured myself as the Amazing Technicolor Stephanie when the discussion happened.

"Tell ya what, Carl. You're gonna pretend you didn't see me and I'm just going to walk right on out of here with my body receipt. I've had a bad enough day."

"No can do, Steph."

"What do you mean, no can do?"

"He means it's too late. I'm already standing here." I turned to look at Joe. His eyes traveled the length of my body and back up and he just shook his head resignedly. "Cupcake, I'm not even going to ask. Carl, Big Dog." Morelli nodded to the guys as he reached over to latch onto my upper arm. He steered me into his office and closed the door. "Please, take a seat." He indicated the chair closest to me and then sat across from me at his desk. Joe ran a hand through his dark hair. Something must really be bothering him. He usually only raked his hands through his hair when he was frustrated or was very worried. Since he didn't know about the flowers and my apparently new stalker, I'm going to go with frustrated. Considering he wanted to talk to me, I was probably the source of that frustration. As Joe leaned back in his chair, arms crossed against his chest, I braced myself for round three of our current battle. For several seconds, neither one of us made a sound. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT!?" I nearly screamed. Okay, so calm and mature weren't on my list of virtues right now. Sue me! I didn't want to be sitting in his office. I wanted to be somewhere ridding myself of the smell of vinegar. Joe sighed and put his cop face firmly in place, but still didn't answer me. I rolled my eyes. "Joe, you have about 20 seconds to start talking or I start walking. You're the one who brought me in here." I was working myself into a real snit. Part of it was from guilt, because I knew I was going to have to finally end things with Joe. The other part was sheer frustration and indignation over his "I need to talk to you" and then say nothing routine.

While I waited for Joe to start talking, I let my eyes wander, taking in his dark wavy hair, his brown eyes, and overall movie star handsome good looks. I sighed sadly. At one point, I really felt there had been a potential for more between Joe and I. I really had. I wanted to think that maybe someday we could get married and settle down. The problem was I was no longer the person that wanted _that_ with him. Years ago I had been. Maybe if I had quit working for Vinnie after I brought Joe in when he was FTA, maybe I would have accepted the life my mother and Joe wanted for me. Reality is, I didn't stop doing bond enforcement and I could no longer see myself as a 'Burg housewife and mother. Joe had matured over the years and settled down. I had changed who I was and I couldn't go back. I was half way to the door since I felt it obvious that Joe wasn't going to speak when the sound of his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"What in the hell were you thinking?" Joe sounded livid enough to spit nails. This threw me. I carefully turned around and faced him.

"Excuse me?" I tried really hard to not sound as pissed off as I was. Somehow I don't quite think I succeeded. I'm sure my face showed anger and shock as I'm pretty sure my eyebrows were now out in space, orbiting the earth. This couldn't be about bringing in Marcantel in this condition. I quickly reviewed the last few days trying to figure out what could have warranted the open anger radiating from him. The only thing that came to mind was the scene with Ranger in my apartment and in my opinion he had no call to be this upset over it.

"The other night. At the bar." Joe was looking at me with an odd combination of anger and disbelief that I didn't immediately know what he was talking about. As if I was being purposely obtuse in not seeing the obvious.

"What about it?" I didn't even know what I was supposed to be defending but my hands were working their way to my hips and I could feel my feet shifting into a bring-it-on stance.

"Up there singing that song. A song about the kind of man you want. Talk about inviting trouble. For God's sake Stephanie, it's a fricking miracle you didn't wind up attracting another stalker bringing attention to yourself like that." _Shit!_ Now is one of those times when I really wish I could school my face into a blank mask like Ranger can. I didn't want Joe to know about the flower guy. Something must have shown on my face though as Morelli's face turned purple. "Shit Stephanie! Again?! Have you been threatened?" When I shook my head to indicate no, he continued on with his rant. "Why is it always my girlfriend who has to put herself in the spotlight and invite psychos to her? Why can't I have a girlfriend who is content to live a normal life?" Joe was back to running his hands through his hair. Well, I'd heard enough.

"Fuck you Morelli. I don't need your bullshit on top of what's already going on. You know what? You don't have to worry about your girlfriend anymore, 'cause as of right now, you don't have one." I flipped him the bird, as I stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind me for good measure.

* * *

AN: I know these sections are still rather short. I can't get more out at a time than this right now. Also, I upped the rating level to account for the language. Again, if you like, please tell; if you have constructive criticisms, please share; if there is something majorly distracting in the line of errors/typos/etc. please let me know. Thank you for reading! 


	8. Ch 3 Pt 3 and Ch 4 Pt 1

Spoiler Warning: May include references to any and all books in the series, including the posted excerpt to Plum Lucky. Standard Disclaimer applies. They aren't mine. If you like, please tell me. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know. If you find distracting errors/typos/etc., be sure to let me know. Thank you for sticking with me and this. These two (combined) sections are fairly transitional.

Chapter 3 Part 3

"This is heaven," I thought to myself as I let the cascading water rinse the Bulgari bubbles from my body. Lula had left me abandoned at the Trenton PD like usual. I'd not wanted to be confronted with my mother's ideas of how I was a failure at my job, being a 'Burg daughter, and simply at being a woman. That meant not going to their place to clean up and not going to mine where I knew my phone would be ringing off the hook. It also meant not calling my father to come pick me up with the cab.

So, I used a speed dial number I rarely even remembered I had programmed and called Tank. He picked me up; no questions asked and brought me back to the Rangeman office building on Haywood. For once I hadn't felt like I'd needed to fill the silent void in the car with my rambling. I knew Lula would tell him at some point what had happened to us. I'd spent most of the trip trying to figure out how best to resume my regular skin tone.

On my way up to the 7th floor apartment, I'd stopped off at the 6th floor and asked Ella for help. I figured if anyone would be able to help get rid of Easter Egg Stephanie, she would. After mixing coarse sea salts, baking soda, and some olive oil together, she'd handed me the jar.

"To use this, stand out of the spray. Rub it on generously but not with a lot of force. Rinse thoroughly. Follow up with the shower gel of your choice." Ella'd given me a small knowing smile at that. I was pretty sure she couldn't see the blush with all the color already on my face though. "This won't remove all the color but it will exfoliate your skin and that should fade the coloring some. You'll need to do this over the course of the next few days until the color is gone completely. Is there anything else, dear?"

"No. Thank you, Ella. I've taken up enough of your time as it is."

"Nonsense. I'm happy to help. Call if you need anything." After promising Ella that I would, I'd gone the rest of the way up to the penthouse. I'd already ascertained that I wasn't dripping color or making a bigger mess by walking around so I didn't have to worry about making a colorful mess in the apartment. I'd followed Ella's directions exactly and it was working.

Once my body was rinsed, I lathered up my hair and started humming. When I realized I was humming "_I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair_", I'd started giggling. Oddly relieved that it wasn't _"Rubber Ducky_" I was humming. A couple of nights ago, after drinking with the girls at the bar, I'd had a nightmare involving that song, a bathroom, and Vinnie which I had been trying desperately ever since to forget. That led my thoughts back to the Karaoke at the bar that night. I started singing the lyrics that I could remember to "_Any Man of Mine_" once I was done washing that man out of my hair.

"Any man of mine better be proud of me." I trilled as the last of the shampoo slid down my back and circled the drain. As I felt a draft of cool air reach me through the steam filled bathroom, the rest of the words caught in the back of my throat. Someone had opened and closed the bathroom door and I hadn't heard them. No surprise really…I hadn't expected anyone to be around so I hadn't been listening for anyone. Not that it really would have mattered, I suppose if I was honest with myself. Ranger doesn't make a lot of noise entering anywhere, especially not his own apartment. I'd managed to learn that Ranger was out on a call concerning a high bond skip before coming up here. I'd figured I'd have a while before he got back. I must have miscalculated. I felt goose bumps prickling my arms and legs. The draft was only part of the cause. I knew the rest of the cause was standing outside the shower doors even though I couldn't see him through the foggy air. I was hoping the same was true for him. I was going to have a problem here quickly though. The hot water had to run out at some point and with it the steam.

"Ranger."

"Yo."

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting."

"For?"

"You."

"Wait somewhere else. I'm naked in here." _Oh Shit. _Did I just say that? _Crap._

"And?" I could hear the predatory smile in Ranger's voice.

"And nothing." I nearly growled. Frustration helping to off-set the hormone rush, I turned the water off and quickly opened the shower door just wide enough to snake my arm out. I grabbed for the nearest towel and closed the door again, wrapping myself in the towel. I assessed my situation. I really needed another towel for my hair. All of a sudden, the door opened a bit but before I could react there was a well muscled mocha-latte colored arm reaching inside the shower, holding a fluffy bathrobe. Feeling foolish, I took the robe and put it on; using the towel I had been wearing to wrap my hair. "Thanks."

"Babe."

I sighed in relief as I heard the door open and close this time. Hurriedly I dried off and finger combed the snarls out of my hair. Using the hair towel to wipe the condensation from the mirror I appraised the damage. A green splotch decorated my forehead, a pink one on my left cheek, blue on the right. Purple and green blobs overlapped on the sides of my neck and down my chest. The robe covered the rest, as it went from my shoulders to my ankles. Thank the heavens for shoes. My right foot was completely normal; the left looked like someone had placed a drop of orange on it and let gravity do its work. I suspected there was more to that orange further up though. I lifted the robe on that side slightly. Yep. I sighed and decided to brave the full sight. I removed the robe and turned to look at my body in the mirror. _Fuck!_ I looked like a multicolor Rorschach test. Oh, look, I see a purple bunny rabbit. Here's a patch that looks like cotton candy clouds. I put the robe back on, tying the belt tightly, took a deep breath, and opened the bathroom door. Well, it's now or never.

Chapter 4

I walked across the bedroom to the dressing room, not saying anything to the six feet of hard muscle encased in black clothes stretched out on the bed. I forcibly pressed my lips together to ensure I wasn't drooling. I could feel his eyes following my every movement. I knew closing the door to the dressing room wouldn't keep him out if he really wanted to follow me but I did it anyway as my way of indicating that I wanted to be alone at the moment.

I stood in the middle of Ranger's walk-in closet and stared in wonder at the sight of my clothes hung up with his. During the time I was the chief suspect in the disappearance of Dickie, my ex-husband, Ranger and I had bantered about the implications of my clothes in his closet. I hadn't thought too much about it in the intervening months. Looking around though, I realized that where as when I first discovered Ranger's apartment, there had been no signs of a feminine presence at all, now, to an outsider, it would look like two people, a man and a woman, shared this apartment on a regular basis.

Try as I may, I couldn't keep a small smile from playing on my lips at the realization. It was scary, satisfying, and saddening all at the same time. Scary because I wasn't sure I was ready for a commitment, not that it really mattered I suppose. The mysterious man in black out there doesn't have a life style conducive to relationships. That was the sad part. I could daydream and think about it all I wanted but it wasn't going to change. I shook my head to clear the fuzzy cobwebs out and noticed I was still standing here in the robe. I quickly got dressed and went to do more with my hair before it decided to completely frizz. The current condition of my body already had me feeling defensive enough; I didn't need a bad hair day on top of it.

I managed to get back across the bedroom without looking over at Ranger still lying on the bed. Finishing up the task of covering the colored patches on my face, I sensed Ranger's presence behind me. I met his gaze in the mirror and saw more than felt as he pushed my hair back and lightly kissed a purple section of my neck, his eyes never leaving mine. My stomach fluttered and my knees shook slightly. Closing my eyes, I pictured the look on his face as I left the Bonds office earlier. My eyes snapped open and found his again.

His reflection flashed me a lupine grin before he kissed my neck again. Damn ESP! He knew what I'd been thinking about. I pushed back away from the sink in an attempt to gain enough space to turn around. It didn't work. My back wound up fully pressed against Ranger's rock hard chest and he wasn't budging. _Oh Well. Guess I'm stuck here._ _Too bad_. I thought sarcastically.

I let my eye lids fall again and gave into the pleasurable sensation of his lips on my skin. I felt my body go limp against him as he brought his muscular arms up around my waist. We stayed like that for several minutes.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Ranger asked, his lips hovering just a hair above that sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder.

"Hmphmmm?" I was in the middle of a tidal wave of hormones and he's asking me questions? My brain was shutting down. I wasn't into thinking at the moment, I was too busy feeling. I'm not the world's best multi-tasker when it comes to something like this.

I felt Ranger's chest shake against my back as he chuckled. He pulled away and turned my body so that we were facing one another. After placing a playful kiss on the tip of my nose, he tried again. "Earth to Stephanie." Ranger shook my body gently.

"Huh? What did you say?" I opened my eyes, blinking several times as though waking up from a delicious dream.

"Want to tell me why you're multicolor?"

"Skip named Marcantel resisted capture by throwing food coloring at us. Lula and I got him rebooked though." I felt like I was on top of the world when Ranger gave me a full on smile.

"Proud of you Babe."


	9. Chapter 4 Continued

Spoiler Warning: May include references to any and all books in the series, including the posted excerpt to Plum Lucky. Standard Disclaimer applies. They aren't mine. If you like, please tell me. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know. If you find distracting errors/typos/etc., be sure to let me know. Thank you for sticking with me and this.

Chapter 4 (continued)

"Proud of you Babe." Ranger released his hold on me. Before I had a chance to mourn the loss of the warmth and strength of his touch, my cell phone rang. I checked caller ID. Connie.

"Yo," I answered. I'm not positive but I think I saw Ranger smirk for the briefest of moments at my greeting. Joe frequently complained that the way I answered my phone was proof I spend too much time with Ranger.

"Steph? Where are you?" Connie sounded a tad panicked. I noticed Ranger's body language shift into a more alert stance, watching me intently; I must have tensed up without realizing it.

"At Rangman. Why? Is something wrong? Is it Lula? Is Lula okay?" Connie calling me wasn't unusual in and of itself; Connie calling me and sounding just this side of frantic on the other hand, was cause for alarm. I was worried about her but I figured if Connie was able to call she was okay. Ranger reached for his cell, ready to make a call to Tank, I guess, if this was about Lula. After the scene Lula had at the hospital last time Tank was shot, none of us were taking the risk of not informing either of them if something happened to the other one. I put Connie on speaker phone.

"No, Lula's fine. She went home nearly an hour ago." Ranger put his phone away. "Steph, you need to get down to the office, and bring Ranger or one of the other guys with you. There are more flowers here and if they're from Joe this time, something is seriously wrong." Ranger indicated we could be there in 10 minutes.

"Connie, leave the flowers alone, don't touch them. Ranger and I will be there in 10."

"I'm not touching them. I'm not even going near them." Click. I sighed as Ranger and I took the elevator down to the garage. In my gut I knew this was an escalation. I was going to be socked with a bodyguard now until this person was caught and dealt with.

Ranger and I got to the office exactly 10 minutes later. Connie was sitting on the beat up couch rather than at her desk when we walked in. I took two steps into the office, looked at Connie's desk and nearly fainted. Sitting in a vase that matched the others was a dozen long stem dead roses. Beside that was a small pot of African violets. I felt my knees giving out on me. Ranger caught me from behind and steered me to the couch next to Connie. The second I was stable on the couch, Ranger had his cell phone out, placing calls. He walked over to the desk and took the envelope off the little plastic trident in the middle of the flowers.

He opened the envelope and read the card inside. His blank face in place, he turned to me. "Take your pick. Who do you want first? Lester, Brett, or Tank?" I sighed. Maybe it wasn't really that bad. I didn't know what the card said after all.

"First tell me what the card says." If it wasn't a threat, I'd still refuse the babysitter.

"Babe."

"Ranger. I'm not accepting a guard until there is a threat. What does the card say?"

Ranger pulled the card back out and read it. "_The roses were red, the violets are blue. I __will__ make you see, that I am the only man for you._ And the card is now addressed to Stephanie Plum."

I felt myself getting lightheaded. I put my head between my knees and tried to force myself to regulate my breathing. I felt Ranger's hand on the back of my neck and, having been in this position many times before, pushed back against it until the rushing in my ears stopped and I could take a full breath without feeling my chest was going to explode.

I could hear the sirens from the approaching black and white. _Please don't let it be Joe _I begged the universe. Ranger had his phone open again and giving me a pointed look. I sighed. It was a threat. A veiled threat, but a threat all the same. To be honest, I was more freaked out by the fact that whoever this guy was, he knew my name now. "Lester." I would have said Tank but I figured if he got shot again while out with me, Lula was likely to try and pop a cap up my ass. I wasn't taking the chance.

Ranger nodded, turned, and spoke quietly into his cell phone. He flipped it shut just as the door to the office opened and Joe walked in. Both men nodded at each other by way of greeting. I saw Joe's jaw clench as his eyes found the dead flower bouquet on Connie's desk. He sat down next to me. "You said you hadn't been threatened," he said, his voice a tad accusatory.

"I wasn't. This is the first," I answered softly, my cracking voice barely above a whisper. I didn't think I could take any more grief out of him right now. Joe nodded and stood up. Connie scooted closer to me on the couch and patted my back, trying to help me stay calm.

"I assume there was a message," he addressed Ranger. Ranger nodded and handed the card to Joe. The blank cop face slammed down firmly into place, as Joe read the card. He looked over at me, then the flowers, and finally back at Ranger. "You got someone on her?" He asked, tipping his head in my direction.

"Me for now. Lester's on his way. He should be here in about 4 minutes. He'll have her covered until Cal relieves comes on shift."

Joe nodded again. Then he turned to Connie. "I need to speak with you about this," he waved his arm to encompass the whole scene before him. "I'd rather not use Vinnie's office, for obvious reason. Let's go out by my car." Connie nodded, gave my back a final pat, and followed Joe out of the office.

Ranger sat down next to me on the couch and pulled me over so I was leaning into his side, forcing my eyes away from the dead flowers. It was then that I realized I was shaking.

* * *

Again, if you feel inclined to review, I'd like to know what you think so far. Thank you. 


	10. Chapter 4 Pt 3

Standard Disclaimers apply: Not mine, not making money.

AN: Sorry it's taken so long for an update and this one is rather on the short side. My muse is having temperamental fits or something. If you like it please let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know. If there are typos, errors, etc. please let me know about those too.

Any Man of Mine Chapter 4 Continued

I didn't even wait for Joe to finish with Connie before I left the office. I knew Ranger would find out what the cops knew and tell me what he thought I needed to know. Not ideal, but it was going to have to be good enough for tonight. I'd worry about getting the rest out of him later. As soon as Lester was there and had been filled in on the basics by Ranger, I had him take me home. Ranger had offered to let me stay at Rangeman, but I didn't want to give this maniac too much control over my life just yet. It was bad enough I had to have a guard on me 24/7 now, I wasn't about to let him run me out of my own home. My car was still at Rangeman; I assumed Ranger would have one of the guys bring it by later. That was pretty much SOP when my car and I were separated.

Despite the surveillance cameras still in operation, Lester did a walk through of my apartment, gun drawn, upon our arrival, bid me good evening, and went back down to his SUV where he'd stay until Cal arrived or something happened that required his attention. After the Dickie fiasco, Ranger and I had come to an understanding concerning the security camera in my foyer. Given the frequency with which my apartment was broken into, I would activate the cameras when I left the apartment and during any Code Red situations. Code Red is when a nut job is after me and Rangeman goes on Stephanie Watch. When it's not a Code Red situation, I deactivate the system while I'm at home. One of the tech guys at Rangeman set it up so that I can activate and deactivate the system over the phone. The camera set up doesn't provide coverage for the fire escape though, so I guess Lester's walk through made some sense.

Once Lester was secured elsewhere, I went into my bedroom to change. I figured I was in for the night. I also figured that there was a decent chance that I would have a visitor at some point before daybreak. I weighed the options available to me and settled on one of Ranger's shirts and a pair of girl boxers. They hugged a bit tighter and aren't as long in the legs as boy boxers, but certainly covered more than my usual underwear. I made sure my hair wasn't doing its Medusa impression but drew the line at wearing a bra just to sit around my apartment.

After gathering the necessary provisions of chocolate ice cream and some TastyKakes, I settled onto the couch, grabbed the remote and located a retro-replay of an old Rangers-Red Wings game. It wouldn't have Mike Richter as goalie but it sure beat anything else that was on. I fell asleep at some point during the game, junk food consumed, wrappers on the floor.

I heard the locks tumble on my door. Normally I wouldn't have, but I was still in the living room and sleeping very lightly. Slowly I sat up, letting the throw blanket fall to the floor. I reached for the remote and turned the TV off. Given the fact that – I look at the clock…12:30 am – Cal was watching the building, I figured it could only be Ranger but called out somewhat softly anyway.

"Ranger?"

"Yeah Babe." I smiled sleepily at him when he came into sight. "What are you doing sleeping on the couch?"

"I fell asleep watching an old hockey game." I stifled a yawn. He took off his utility belt, dropping it on the table, before coming over to sit on the couch next to me. "What'd Joe find out from Connie?"

Ranger reached over and pulled me closer to him, so we were sitting side ways on the couch, my back to his chest. I wasn't complaining. "Connie wasn't able to give him a whole lot to work with initially. Delivery from Flora's Florals and the delivery guy seemed weirded out by it. Said he couldn't get away from the flowers soon enough, barely even waited for Connie to sign for them. So she opened them."

"Oh," I took a moment to process Ranger's words. "You said initially. Did she remember something else?" I asked hopefully. It wasn't so much that I looked forward to knowing about this guy but more that I couldn't wait for this to be over with.

"Joe relayed the information to Costanza. He tracked down that the flower order was called in, using a credit card issued to a Paul Shapiro. Does the name mean anything to you?" When I shook my head, Ranger continued. "Joe's doing a work up on him now. I've got Silvio doing a full check on him as well."

I pushed up a bit to turn back and look at him. "You don't trust Joe's work?"

"I think Silvio can do better. There are things he can access that Joe couldn't easily get to, Babe." I pondered this for a moment. Ranger was right. I'd worked the computers and search programs available to Rangeman previously. If this Paul Shapiro had any secrets, he wouldn't for long. Satisfied that this wasn't just a display of stupid macho pride, I resumed my previous position. Ranger shifted some, catching the throw blanket with on hand and covered me with it. I snuggled deeper into his embrace and let out a contented sigh. This felt nice. Really nice. Ranger kissed the top of my curls. "Get some sleep." I didn't need to be told twice.


	11. More Ch 4 Mall Pt 1

Spoiler Warning: May include references to any and all books in the series, including the posted excerpts to Plum Lucky. Standard Disclaimer applies. They aren't mine. If you like, please tell me. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know. If you find distracting errors/typos/etc., be sure to let me know. Thank you for sticking with me and this. This section is mostly transitional. We should get back to the nut job in the next section.

* * *

Any Man of Mine

(continued)

When I stepped into the bathroom to take care of nature and my morning shower, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and almost screamed. I'd forgotten I was still decorated compliments of Marcantel. I made sure to use Ella's cure while in the shower and I think it helped. The pink on my one cheek had faded to just looking as though I'd been a little free with the blusher on that side. The purple and green on my neck looked like bruises in various stages of healing. My only towel wrapped around my hair, I caught myself just before opening the door and walking out of my bathroom into full view of the security camera. I rolled my eyes and reached for the robe on the back of the bathroom door. I paused. I don't keep a robe on my bathroom door. I looked closer and sniffed it. Bulgari. Ranger's. He knows me too well; I hadn't remembered to grab something to get past the cameras with my dignity intact.

Emerging from the bathroom, now fully covered, I heard my cell phone jangling out _Turkey in the Straw._ The ring associated with my parents' number. I'd taken to screening my calls but I knew I was going to have to speak to my mother before too much longer. Now's as good a time as ever, I guess. I dug in my black bag and pulled out my phone.

"Stephanie, this is your mother."

I rolled my eyes. "I know Mom."

This seemed to confound her for a moment. "You do? How?" Was she for real?

"I recognize your rin…er… your voice."

"Oh." Did my mother seriously not know she sounded the same on the phone as in person? Mind boggling.

Silence.

"Mom?"

"Yes"

"You wanted something?"

"Yes I did young lady," I mentally sighed. No conversation ever started that way that went in my favor. "What is this I hear about you screaming at Joseph? And at his work place too. Really Stephanie. Men want a wife who is better behaved than that. What an embarrassment to him. Men don't marry women who embarrass them. How are you ever going to convince Joseph to marry you if continually do things to embarrass him?"

I tuned her out. It wouldn't do me any good at this point to tell her that Joe and I had broken up again. I waited until I didn't hear her voice anymore before I spoke. "Okay mom. Was there anything else? I need to get to work."

"Working on a Saturday? Honestly Stephanie, you need a decent job. A decent job doesn't require you to work on Saturdays. You could have your evenings and weekends off if you worked at the button factory. I can get you an application on Monday." Saturday? Hot Damn! I'll swing by the office and take my Merry Man de jour on a tour of the mall, maybe with Lula in tow. Thinking of the upcoming shopping spree, my spirits perked up and then fell as I realized my mother was asking me a question. "You are coming to dinner tonight, right? I'm making a roast and chocolate pudding for dessert."

"No, sorry. I have other plans." Not a complete lie. I had plans NOT to be seen by her in my current state of color. Pineapple Upside Down cake might have changed my mind, but chocolate pudding wasn't going to do it.

"Plans? What plans?"

I thought quickly. If I told her I had plans with Joe, she'd get the wrong idea. "Lula and I are getting together tonight. It's…uh…." _Think Stephanie Think! _"She just broke up with her boyfriend and I told her I'd come over with dinner to get her mind off it."

"She can come with you."

"NO! I mean no thanks. She's really not feeling up to being around people right now."

We wrapped up the conversation after that. I got dressed and ready for a day at the mall. As I headed down to the parking lot, I wondered which Merry Man was on Stephanie Watch today.

Coming to a halt just outside the door to the building, I scanned the parking lot. Shiny black SUV? Check. As yet unidentified Merry Man on watch? Check. My piece of crap car? I searched the lot with my eyes again and then a third time. Nope, my POS car wasn't here. It must still be at Rangeman. No problem, the Merry Man of the day could just take me to the parking garage to get it. I fixed a somewhat annoyed look on my face for effect and headed in the direction of the SUV. The driver's side window slid down as I walked towards the vehicle, giving me a glimpse of the driver as it did. I lost the annoyed look and grinned. Tank. This was going to be fun. I decided against insisting on a ride to get my crapola car. I didn't often get to observe Lula and Tank together so I was going to take advantage of the opportunity. Tank could chauffer us around today.

I gave Tank a finger wave, letting my grin turn positively evil, and headed directly for the passenger side. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn I saw Tank pale slightly at my expression. Oh yeah, this was gonna be fun alright. Once I was settled into my seat, I turned and faced him.

"Morning. Up for playing chauffer today?" Tank barely moved his head in a nod. I waited a few beats. Apparently that was all the response I was going to get. "Ooooookay then. First stop is the Bonds office." Without saying a word, Tank started up the SUV and we were on our way.

------

Lula was at the window looking out at the SUV when I walked into the office. "Which fine piece of man you got with you today? I don't suppose it's my man." When I didn't answer her right away, Lula turned back and pinned me with her gaze. "It is, idin't? That's Tank out there."

I grinned at her. "Up for a trip to the mall?"

"Hell Yeah! I think I'm in need of a trip to Victoria's Secret. A girl needs to feel pretty and her panties are the best place to start. Let's go." Lula had grabbed her purse and swung her orange spandex covered ass out the door before I could answer. I turned to Connie.

"Any more surprises for me?" I asked as I looked around the office for signs of any more flowers, fresh or decaying.

"No. So what's the deal? You got a babysitter until they figure this out or what?" Connie reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a nail file, cuticle stick, cotton balls, polish remover, and a bottle of nail polish as she spoke.

"Pretty much. They managed to get a name from the credit card used to order the flowers. Both Joe and Rangeman are running checks on the guy. Since it's Saturday and Tank's on duty, I thought Lula'd like to spend some time with him too. Heaven only knows how much Ranger might keep him on the job with this situation." We both turned to look out the window. Thankfully, the SUV was _not_ rocking but I still didn't think I should leave them out there alone too long. "Wanna come with us?"

Before Connie could answer, Vinnie's door swung open. "No she's not going with you. She has to work. You should be working. You have open files. What? Do you all think I'm made of money?"

Connie started searching her desk for a listening device, mumbling under her breath about what she'd like to do to his pencil dick. Vinnie glared at her, did a 'Burg girl worthy eye roll in her direction and then swung his gaze to me. Suddenly, he got a stricken look on his face and hurried back into his office, slamming the door behind him. That was strange. Connie was always threatening harm to him for bugging her desk. Why'd he react like that this time? I looked at Connie.

She was looking at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "What'd I miss? What'd you do to him?"

"Me? Nothing, I swear." I was just as in the dark as she was.

Connie looked like she didn't believe me. "What are you humming? It's familiar but I can't place it."

I hadn't even realized I'd been humming. It was that damn Rubber Duck song. Seeing Vinnie must have brought it up from my subconscious. "A children's song. Never mind. See ya later."

-----

I let Lula ride shotgun as Tank drove us to Quakerbridge Mall. After a small discussion, we had decided that was the place to go – they had everything we needed: f.y.e., Victoria's Secret, a pretzel vendor, and, highest on Tank's priority list, the mall security was so used to me being tailed by Rangeman that the rent-a-cops no longer gave us a second thought. Early on, when I would have a Rangeman guard detail with me, the rent-a-cops in the mall would follow us in groups of two like they were expecting the men in black to be terrorists or something. After the third or fourth time of being approached and basically asked to leave the mall, Ranger and I sat down with the head of mall security and explained the situation.

In all honesty, I could have used a new pair of shoes but Lula and I were banned from Macy's until Thanksgiving after our last attempt to capture a skip accidentally wound up taking out all the displays on the second floor. Don't ask. It wasn't my fault. Really.

Apparently The What had a gig at a bar called the Yee-Haw Y'all and Lula was on a mission to find something that the crowd would listen to so the band wouldn't have to resort to Rawhide -- like the Blues Brothers. So we hit f.y.e. first. As Lula went over to the listening station, a stack of CDs in her hands, Tank trailed about three steps behind my every move. Every time I'd stop to look at an album, he'd stop and scan the store, standing at attention.

"Dammit Tank! Stop it! At least _act_ like you are having a casual day at the mall with your…" I hesitated, looked over to where Lula was oblivious to our conversation, head phones on, engrossed in finding something country that didn't gross her out, and continued, "uh, girlfriend and her friend." I bit back the laugh that threatened to escape at the look on his face when I referred to Lula as his girlfriend. He actually looked like a deer caught in the headlights and then his eyes flew in Lula's direction for a moment before he regained his composure. Deciding it was in my best interest to distract him, "Help me find the section with Shania Twain's stuff. There's an album of hers I wanna buy." When he didn't budge to help me, I scooted closer and said, "Lighten up, or next time I'll bring Grandma shopping with us instead of Lula." Tank relaxed his stance somewhat but kept scanning the store anyway. I decided it wasn't a battle I was likely to win and sighed.

I found an album of Shania's that had Any Man of Mine on it, I didn't care which one as I wasn't interested in the other songs anyway, and headed over to where Lula was at the check out counter. She had about half a dozen CDs she was buying. I noticed the top one on the stack was Bonnie Raitt. "I didn't realize Bonnie Raitt was considered country music," I said to Lula.

"She's one of them multi-tasking singers, does stuff in different kinds of music." Lula and I each paid for our own purchases and the three of us waited for an opening in the Saturday mall crowds to cross over to Auntie Anne's little pretzel stand which was directly in front of Victoria's Secret. I got a cinnamon and sugar coated large soft pretzel for me. Lula and Tank each got two pretzels, one plain and one with a side of cheese. I guess Tank _had_ decided to lighten up somewhat; usually the Merry Men don't do anything so ordinary as eat while on the job, especially mall duty.

While we ate our pretzels, we continued with the general flow of traffic down that side of the mall corridor to the other end of the mall since we couldn't go into Victoria's Secret with food. We stopped and stood outside the entrance to Macy's, identical looks of longing on mine and Lula's faces. I don't know how long we stood there, finishing off our snacks, before Tank grabbed both of us by the hand and forcibly turned us away from the store.

As we scooted our way around the Coffee Beanery, I saw the familiar red and white checkered decorating scheme of Bath and Body Works. I'd heard rumors that Bath and Body Works were slowly switching over their color scheme to be blue and white instead, but I saw no signs of it happening here. Knowing I'd be followed, I turned into the store without saying anything. I was running low on my every day fragrance, Warm Vanilla Sugar, and figured this was as good a time as any to pick up more lotion and bubble bath. The scent reminded me of baking cookies and that usually led me around to thinking about the one night Ranger and I…

"Good choice Girlfriend, I need some more lotion and shower gel. Coco Cabana and Rice Flower and Shea here I come." Lula winked up at Tank, grabbed his hand, and attempted to drag him with her. I gave him a push to help.

"I'm just going to be over there," I pointed to the display not even six feet away from where Lula was trying to get him to go. "Go." I pushed on him again for good measure and this time he moved.

After sampling a few other scents, I found the Vanilla Sugar I was looking for and picked up a few bottles. I could hear Lula fussing behind me and turned around in time to see her spritz Tank with something. This had me very curious. As a general rule, Bath and Body Works doesn't tend to carry masculine scents. I walked close enough to see the label on the bottle in her hand. Exotic Coconut. I tried unsuccessfully to keep from chuckling.

"Well Tank, look at it this way; I think smelling like fruit as a result of 'Stephanie Watch' is a new one," I told him, giggling as Lula went to pay for her purchases.

Tank was going to smell like suntan lotion and the beach for the rest of the day--not exactly feminine but not masculine either. I hoped he didn't run into Lester before he got a chance to shower. Tank would never live it down if he did.

I leaned in close and took a deep breath, "mmmm… coconut. It really could have been worse, you know, she could have decided to try out Gardenia or Strawberry Lemonade." Full out laughing now, I headed to the counter to make my own purchases. I looked back at Tank and saw him standing there, shaking his head, arm around Lula's shoulders.

_Yes! _I discreetly pumped my fist once in victory – Lula and I had succeeded in getting Tank to relax as much as he ever does and just enjoy the time at the mall. Okay, maybe he wouldn't use the word enjoy but I would. After this, I couldn't wait to see how our next stop went.

----

Again, if you feel inclined to review, I'd like to know what you think so far. Thank you. I'm sorry for the delay in updating. My muse went on strike. Hopefully things will pick up again now that she's back at work.


	12. Last of Chapter 4 Mall Pt 2

Spoiler Warning: May include references to any and all books in the series, including the posted excerpts to Fearless Fourteen. Standard Disclaimer applies. They aren't mine. If you like, please tell me. If you have constructive criticisms, please let me know. If you find distracting errors/typos/etc., be sure to let me know. Thank you for sticking with me and this. This section is still mostly transitional. Plot line picks back up in next upcoming chapter/section.

* * *

Any Man of Mine

(continued)

Turning to the left we headed towards the end of the mall anchored by JC Penney. I found myself tuning out most of Lula's running commentary about the people and various shops we passed on our way to Victoria's Secret. I tuned back in when I realized Lula had gone quiet and Tank had his phone to his ear. I wondered who was on the other line.

"Affirmative." Boy, isn't that informative? I rolled my eyes. Tank handed the phone to me. Perplexed, I took the phone. "Ranger," he said simply.

Ah ha.

"Hello."

"Yo. Having fun shopping?"

"Yep. Just one more shop to hit before we leave and head back to my apartment."

"What shop?" _Shit._

"_VictoriaSecret_. Why, is anything wrong?" I said the first part in a rush, hoping he would answer my question and not think too much about the answer I gave.

"No, arranging the next shift. Tank's got the night off. I need to talk to him again."

I handed the phone back to Tank and tried to figure out the rest of the conversation from his end of it. Not easy to do when Tank's side consisted of a few "affirmatives", a look at me, and an "understood." As Tank was closing his phone, we had reached the front of Victoria's Secret.

I paused momentarily. Victoria's Secret was usually a Merry-Man-free zone, with the guys preferring to wait directly outside the door monitoring who entered and exited. I wasn't so sure what was going to happen today since Tank wasn't merely on duty. Knowing he definitely wasn't going in the store if I didn't, I sighed to myself, and in I went.

Lula has a theory that you can tell what a man is really made of by testing to see if he will go shopping in Victoria's Secret with you. She wanted to find out how Tank handled the situation months ago while I was looking for Samuel Singh, but we didn't have time that day. I guess she'd get her chance today. I have to admit, I was a bit curious myself.

I positioned myself just inside the store, where I appeared to be looking at a display rack, but in reality I was watching the exchange taking place outside the store. Tank had stopped, looked above the door where the name was scripted in pink letters, and seemed to be considering something. I don't know what Lula said to him, but I saw him smile. They came into the store together…hmm…that was interesting, but I'm not exactly sure I wanted to know what she said to convince him to follow us.

Lula threw a wink in my direction as she led Tank towards the counter where two saleswomen were in conversation about a date one had had the night before.

"Hey Girls, what's shakin'?" Startled, the two saleswomen looked up at Lula's words. It was simple to understand their unease; unless you're me or Connie, it's not every day you are approached by a full figured black woman encased in orange spandex that was stretched to the limit, even in Jersey, because let's face it, not many women have Lula's particular sense of style. "Let me give you the low down here. I want some sexy stuff for my man, Tank, here. Rumor has it, you all started selling man-panties and I want to see them, so bring 'em on."

I'm amazed the sound of my jaw hitting the tiled floor didn't cause everyone to look in my direction. Man-panties? At Victoria's Secret? TANK?! Oh, I so did not need to go there. I was even more shocked when one of the saleswomen started nodding vigorously in Lula's direction, reminding me of a bobble head doll.

"Yes we are one of the few stores nationwide piloting a new male focused line called Victor's Mysteries. Right now, we carry what you referred to as 'man-panties', was it, in leopard print, zebra print, black, and camouflage, all silk. We've found that the military wives just love the camouflage ones to give their husbands upon their return home." After she finished, she stepped back to size Tank up, shuffled through a container of packages in front of her, and brought out one of each print.

Tank glanced at them, looked around to locate me, and motioned me over. I stepped back. I had no desire to see the man-panties (damn Lula and that phrase, now I'll be stuck with it forever) they picked out for him. I did not want my mind going in that direction. I was a teensy bit curious what they looked like though, not that I'd buy a pair for anyone. I didn't have a guy to buy them for, anyway. Joe and I were through, I sure as hell wasn't buying a pair for my father or Albert, and Ranger went commando. Not that it was even the slightest bit appropriate for me to consider buying underwear for Ranger. Absolutely not.

Tank made a move in my direction when he saw I wasn't going to join them willingly, so to avoid drawing any undue attention to myself, I put my hand up in the universal 'stop' motion and made my way in their general direction. Keeping my eyes firmly averted from the male undergarments on display on the counter, I began to browse through a rack of babydolls that were next to the counter. Apparently I was close enough to satisfy Tank because he directed his attention back to Lula. "Whatever you want to see, Baby. We'll get whatever you want."

Lula squealed and picked up three of the packages, then spoke to the saleslady one more. "Doesn't he need to try them on or something? He's no average Joe if catch my meaning. They don't call him Tank for nothing, ya know." She said winking at the lady who blushed slightly as her eyes subconsciously wandered to the area below Tank's waist.

"He-He-He's welcome to use the s-s-staff restroom in the back. W-w-w-we don't have d-d-dressing rooms for males yet. However, if he knows his waist size, he should be fine choosing a size that way." Tank told the lady his waist measurement and she found the appropriate size in the patterns Lula had chosen.

By this time, I had to get away before I melted into a puddle of embarrassment. I quickly grabbed a few babydolls off the rack in front of me, glanced to see that they were my approximate size and said, "I need to use the dressing room please." I shot Tank a glare, making it clear, he wasn't going to be welcome to guard my body back there.

"Hang on a second and I'll go back there with you," Lula said, reaching for a few pajama outfits herself.

Once in the dressing rooms, Lula and I got down to the serious business of lingerie shopping. I managed to block out most the images coming unbidden to my mind with Lula's initial chatter about Tank's man-panties until the topic finally shifted around to what really mattered – color choices, and styles. After a few trips in and out of the dressing room, we had made our selections. Lula had chosen a hot pink eyelet camisole pajama set and a glamour pink babydoll sleep shirt.

With the help of the Rangeman accountant, I had filed my taxes electronically and very early. As a result, I had extra funds in my account, so I indulged and bought several items; a black pleated babydoll, a pink romance mesh halter babydoll, a lace-trim baby doll in a beautiful aqua shade that was labeled 'sea breeze', an eye-shadow blue eyelet camisole pajama set similar in everything but color and size to Lula's hot pink one, and a boy short pajama set in a shade of aqua that was distinctly different from the lace babydoll. Never mind that I didn't have anyone to wear them for; I only splurged like this once a year.

At the checkout counter, I was digging in my black shoulder bag for my wallet when out of the corner of my eye I saw Tank slide a credit card across to the sales woman. I fixed her with a look that froze her hand half way to it and turned to Tank. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked trying really hard to not sound _too_ pissed.

"Ranger's orders." Tank pushed the card closer to the clerk, whose eyes followed our continuing exchange like she was watching a tennis match. I'm sure she was wondering who would be more dangerous to upset—Tank or myself.

My eyebrows shot into the stratosphere. "Oh really? And just when did he issue those orders?" I asked through clenched teeth, my face frozen in a fake saccharine smile.

"Just before we came in here." Well, that explained some of that conversation then. He'd obviously paid attention to my answer after all.

I lowered my voice somewhat. "I can't have him buying me lingerie, Tank. It's not right."

"Got an issue with it, take it up with him. I'm not breaking orders for anyone, not even you. You want to be responsible for my death?" Once again, he pushed the card at the sales woman and fixed her with a look. She finally picked up the card, hand trembling slightly, and processed the payment.

"Go with it Girlfriend. Free. Victoria's Secret, free." Lula elbowed me in the side. I winced and glared at her. She leaned in closer and, voice lowered, said, "Maybe Batman wants to see you in some of it, ever think of that? Hmm…" She mimed fanning herself briefly before turning to link her arm through Tank's, who was now done signing the slips for my purchases and theirs.

Great idea, problem was, I had thought of that, resulting in a rush of hormones and emotions I didn't want to deal with at the moment. I settled for rolling my eyes and turned to walk out of the store ahead of them.

The ride back to my apartment was uneventful. I found out that Tank had the evening off because he and Lula were going to a concert. As we made our way out of the elevator – I had insisted to Tank that I'd had enough exercise walking around the mall – I was feeling pretty good about the day. There hadn't been any sign of my stalker and it wasn't so bad having Tank as my babysitter with Lula around as well. And that's when I saw it…

--

Again, if you feel inclined to review, I'd like to know what you think so far. Thank you. I'm sorry for the delay in updating. My muse went on strike (again!). Hopefully things will pick up again now that she's back at work. I'm already approx. 600 words into the next section/chapter. So here's hoping.


	13. Chapter 5 part 1

AN: Not my characters, not making money, etc. Also, this may be the last chapter for a bit – my beta and I are both expecting to be a bit busy with travel over the next two months or so but we'll try our best to get something else out as soon as we can manage to connect enough to do the beta thing. Thanks for hanging in there with me (us)! My standard request remains: If you like it, let me know. If you have constructive criticisms, let me know. If you find grammar/spelling errors that are distracting, let me know.

Chapter 5

I stared in horror at the bracelet hanging on my doorknob. All the blood in my body drained to my feet, and I felt lightheaded. I barely registered the movement to my left as Tank slipped his gun out of its holster.

"Babydoll, get her and yourself back over there," Tank ordered, pointing down the hallway, "and use her phone to call Rangeman control – speed dial 5. Tell whoever answers to send back up STAT, situation undetermined."

Lula grasped my upper arm firmly as she led me down the hall. I offered no resistance, too focused on the realization that my home had been invaded once again to care. Distractedly, I half-listened while she called control.

"This is Lula; we're at Steph's. Tank says to send back up STAT, situation undetermined," She paused momentarily. "Some sort of necklace or bracelet is on her door. I don't know. I just told you what my man said. Oh, you also need to send over some Butterscotch Krimpets. No, I'm not kiddin' you. Do I sound like I'm kiddin' you? Hey, listen up, when you're feeling down, nothing can cheer you up like a Krimpet."

The irony of Lula ordering Tastykakes via Rangeman delivery jarred me back into reality, my sense of helplessness diminishing. In its place indignation and anger descended. Good, I'd rather be pissed than helpless any day of the week.

Tank leaned over, read the note that I hadn't noticed was attached to the chain, and looked in our direction. "In that case, you might as well have whoever deliver several dozen or a large birthday cake," he said dryly.

"Yea-" Lula choked on her words as we both stared at Tank, each of us do award worthy imitations of landed fish. Lula just closed my phone and handed it back to me.

"T-Tank," I started, faltering a little as my powers of speech came back to me. I swallowed forcibly, "What does the note say? It's from Shapiro, isn't it?"

"Yeah Steph, I'm pretty sure it is," he hedged. "You and Lula stay over there while I secure your apartment."

"Tell me what the note said, Tank." I narrowed my eyes at his half answers.

"Stephanie, I need to secure the apartment NOW. We'll deal with the note later. Lula, you keep her there, even if you have to sit on her. Got it?" Tank didn't wait for Lula's response before heading into my apartment.

"He has got to be kidding; you aren't going to sit on me. I _need_ to know what that note said," I fumed at Lula, trying to move towards the door to my apartment. "Joe thinks he can run my life; sometimes Ranger runs a close second. Another man thinking he can run my life is something I don't need!"

Lula tightened her hold on my arm. "Listen, if Tank says we need to stay here, we're gonna stay here. You know he's not trying to run your life; he's trying to make sure some dead-flower sending nut isn't in there waiting for you."

"Hunh!" Okay, so it wasn't a brilliant response but it was all I could come up with at the moment.

Tank quickly secured the apartment, then allowed Lula and I into the living room. My apartment didn't _look_ like anyone had entered while we were gone; at least the parts of it I could see from the couch seemed to be how I'd left them this morning. Relieved that Shapiro apparently hadn't actually been in the apartment, I turned my attention back to Tank, who had positioned himself so he could monitor both the apartment door and the fire escape.

"Okay Tank, the apartment is secure. Now tell me what the note said," I ordered, fixing him with a death glare. When Tank didn't answer, I continued, "Tell. Me." Tank remained standing there as though he hadn't heard me. It reminded me a lot of the first job we worked together as security for a building we'd just helped 'redecorate' – at the time, I wasn't sure if he was still alive; now I knew he was and I also knew that unless he had to protect me, he wouldn't move until back-up arrived.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long; back-up arrived mere minutes later in the form of Ranger and Ram. Some silent communication went on between Ranger and Tank, and then Tank handed the note and the bracelet to Ranger. Ranger set them on the kitchen table, much like the card that came with the first set of flowers. I went and stood next to him. As much as I wanted to know what the note said, my eyes were drawn to the silver charm bracelet of their own accord. On the chain were two charms, one a G clef, the other an eighth note.

I focused in on the note. Ranger, Tank, and Ram were conversing softly in the main part of the kitchen, but I had effectively tuned them out. I read the note once, and then a second time to make sure I had read it correctly the first time. "Oh. Hell no! Is he nuts? Of course he's nut, but he must really be nuts if he thinks I'm doing that. No way. Huh uh. No sirree."

Ram looked in my direction, a slightly apprehensive expression on his face. I really couldn't blame him. He'd only been around me once before and it was an embarrassing situation for both of us as it involved him finding me on top of Ranger in the stairwell of Rangeman when I had tripped. He wasn't used to my rambling at the drop of a hat. Tank and Ranger were both accustomed to it by now and pulled his attention back into their conversation.

Lula got up off the couch and read the note aloud, "'Stephanie, my love. Voice of an angel, my heart beats for thee. Just one more time, won't you sing for me? Same place, same time, I'll let you know what day. Until we are one, accept this token of my love.' Damn girl, you sure know how to find them, don't you? So this guy wants you to sing for him again?" Lula started to laugh. "Hey muscle man," she said to Ram, "you bring those Krimpets or what? I guess my man knew what he was talking about when he said she'd need cake after reading that."

Ram startled slightly and handed over the bag I hadn't noticed he was holding on to. Lula grabbed it, flashed him a brief smile, and ripped into it. She handed me two butterscotch Krimpets and a lemon Krimpet, then took two peanut butter Kandy Kakes for herself.

"I'm not singing again. I'm not. There's no point in trying to change my mind. It's not happening." I shoved the first of the Krimpets into my mouth, barely tasting the butterscotch flavor. "He can't make me. Of course he can't make me." The second Krimpet went down, this one slow enough for me to actually taste. I took a deep breath. My heart rate began to approach normalcy again as I dove into the special edition lemon Krimpet. Of course, Lula had to open her big mouth and start my blood pressure rising again.

"Well, it might be a way to bring him out of hiding. A chance for Batman and Co. over there to catch him. Get him out of your hair. One little song. How hard could it be?"

"Lu-," Tank started and then stopped mid-word.

"Why the hell not, Big man? Not like you all haven't used her as bait to catch a psycho before." Lula put her hands on her hips and turned to face off with Tank. "Or is the problem that I came up with it instead of Batman over there?" Lula jerked her head in Ranger's general direction. "I can plan the hell out of this." I snuck a glance at Ranger out of the corner of my eye. His face indicated amusement, a slight lift to the corners of his mouth, eyes focused on Lula.

"Go on," he said to her. I had to give her credit. She didn't hesitate more than a moment as an indication of her shock before continuing.

"Hell, now you're talkin'. We could have her join The What and do a number with us. She wouldn't be on stage alone; some of you could be in the audience. He gets to come out of hiding to hear Stephanie sing; he gets caught. She wouldn't have to go anywhere on her own; the band would be with her the whole time." As she spoke, Lula walked around my kitchen, arm flapping increasing the more into it she got. When Tank opened his mouth to speak again, she stopped and faced me. "I think Stephanie should decide."

_Oh for the love of HoneyBuns! Why me?_


	14. Chapter 5 part 2

_Standard Disclaimers Apply…JE created them, I'm playing with 'em and promise to give all of them (even Ranger) back when I'm done. Songs mentioned and or lyrics used are to enhance the storyline and again, are not mine. I'm making no money from any of this._

_Spoiler Alert: Could contain references to anything JE has ever put out about Stephanie and Co., including excerpts to new books and new books published between origination and completion of this story._

_If you like, please tell me; if you find errors, please tell me; if you have constructive critiques/suggestions, please tell me. If you are a Cupcake and get PO'd at me, please DON'T tell me…I favor Ranger and write accordingly. My heartfelt thanks to my beta, Rena – how you ever put up with me is beyond my understanding – and others who provided suggestions, encouragement, and more (among them MMO, Sam, Dee, Jules, and others not named)._

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"Whatcha say, girlfriend? Gonna go with me on this or what?" Lula gave me a look that clearly said there was only one answer she was willing to hear.

"I – I – I-" Before I could formulate a way to extract myself from a no-win situation, Ranger did it for me.

"Let her think on it, while you two go enjoy the concert this evening. We'll meet and talk about it more tomorrow; nothing can be done on it tonight anyway." Ranger glanced at Tank, some silent communication taking place, and Tank stepped up to Lula, took her arm, and moved her towards the door.

Lula looked mutinous for a moment but a single look from Ranger quelled whatever sort of retort she was considering. After a glance at Ranger, Ram fell into step behind the departing Lula and Tank. Ranger turned to me as the door clicked shut.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want, Babe."

"Are you kidding? Lula would kill me if I didn't. As much as I don't like the concept of getting up and singing again- hell, I didn't want to sing in the first place - she's right about one thing - it wouldn't be the first time I've been used as psycho bait."

"Babe."

"Ranger," I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll tell Lula tomorrow that I've agreed and then the planning can start. Can we just let it sit until then?"

"What are your plans for the rest of the night?"

"Depends, I suppose. Who is on duty tonight?"

"Ram's down in the lot."

_Damn! I need something to take my mind off Lula's plan and he's got someone else guarding my body tonight._ I thought it, this time I'm pretty sure I didn't say it. What I did say was "oh."

"You sound disappointed, Babe. I could send him back to the office if you were going to come back to Rangeman with me or if I was going to stay." Ranger glanced toward the living room where the shopping bags had been dumped unceremoniously once Tank finally let us into the apartment, spilling out all of Victoria's secrets. I hoped Ram had been too distracted to notice the plethora of lace and silky fabrics piled in the middle of my apartment. I did _not_ need another one of Ranger's Merry Men to know what I had bought – bad enough Tank knew. "You could always model that pink number there for me," he continued, taking a step closer to me.

"Oh no," I said. "Ju-Ju-Just because you paid for it doesn't mean you get to see it. It doesn't work that way."

Ranger cocked his left eyebrow slightly, an almost smile ghosting his lips. "Babe." His voice, a rich combination of husky desire and amusement, sent a chill traversing my spine.

I worried my knees were going to give out from the sound of his voice alone. Thankfully, they continued to function and I, instinctively, took a step backwards for every step he came forward until my back was against the wall and my front was against Ranger. Softly his lips found mine, almost tentatively. I responded, deepening the kiss, desire welling up with a force so strong, it nearly took my breath away. I pulled back, breaking the kiss, panting slightly – and I hoped, attractively – trying to regain both my ability to breathe and my equilibrium. Oh, who am I trying to kid? I haven't had my equilibrium around Ranger since the first time we kissed.

Ranger's hands worked their way down the length of my arms and he laced his fingers through mine, pulling us closer together as he trailed small kisses from just below my left ear, down my neck to my collar bone. I shifted slightly and turned my head in the other direction, seeking cooler air as the temperature around us had increased significantly. Presented with the other side of my neck, Ranger treated the right side to the same delicious course, only in reverse.

As his lips found mine again, he moved our arms upward until he could pin both my wrists above our heads with one hand and he brought his other hand down to dance lightly on the now exposed skin of my side where my shirt had ridden up. The slight tickling sensation caused me to jump and wriggle, which eliminated even the slight space there had been between my body and Ranger's hard, well toned, muscular body. It's a good thing Ranger was supporting me because my knees finally gave up the ghost and betrayed me, turning completely to jelly.

Just as I was wondering if our clothes would spontaneously combust from the scorching heat being generated, Ranger's cell phone rang. He broke the kiss, leaned his forehead against the wall next to my head, and blew out a breath. Keeping my arms pinned above us, he used his other hand to flip open his cell phone and brought it to his ear. "Speak!"

I could hear Lester's tinny voice coming through the small ear piece on Ranger's phone. "Sorry to interrupt you two, boss…" I heard him begin and felt my face flush even redder if that was possible. I had completely forgotten about the cameras being on since we were in a Code Red situation.

Ranger growled. "Santos. This had better be good." Slowly he brought our arms back down, kissed me gently on the forehead, and went to sit down on my couch as he listened to whatever else Lester had to say. As soon as I figured I could walk without looking like I'd been on an extended sea cruise and hadn't regained my land legs, I headed for one of the only two places in my apartment I knew were not in view of the cameras – the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, I did my best to regulate my breathing and calm my heart rate. Once that was accomplished, I stood up, splashed cool water on my face, opened the bathroom door and EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

"Ranger! You are going to give this girl a heart attack, you know that? You need to learn to make some noise when you move around." So much for having lowered my blood pressure, it just went shooting through the roof again! He had been standing right in front of the bathroom door and scared the beegeebbers out of me.

"Sorry, Babe. Get put together for a stake-out. We leave in 5." Ranger turned back around, punched a number on his cell phone and was immediately issuing orders to Ram about the change in plans. He looked over at me. "4 minutes, 30 seconds. Move it!"

That got me moving. I wasn't sure what was going on exactly, but as far as I could tell, two of the Rangemen had taken sick with what sounded like food poisoning and both Ranger and Ram were needed to fill their spots on an important surveillance shift. I was going along for the ride apparently, since I couldn't be left alone. I doubled timed it, gathering up my black bag, a trashy romance novel by my favorite author, Dawn Douglas, raided my cupboards for all the portable snacks I could find, and grabbed a hooded sweatshirt in case the evening turned cold, although I couldn't imagine my body temperature would drop down far enough for that for several hours after the encounter I'd just had with Ranger. Pausing a moment to screw up my face and stick out my tongue at Lester over the security camera in my foyer, I got to the door just moments after Ranger did. I think I might have seen him shake his head slightly as I turned back from the direction of the camera but I couldn't be positive.

"Only you, Babe, only you."

* * *

Two hours later, I had finished the Dawn Douglas book, which had actually kept me from trying Ranger's patience with my bored ramblings. I didn't know what I was going to do now though. I wasn't needed as another set of eyes, so I leaned back and closed mine. If I fell asleep, all the better. A girl can never have too much sleep. Instead of sleep, the inside of my eyelids seemed to become a sort of movie screen with various images projected on it. Ranger pressing me against the wall, his lips on mine. The hero and heroine of the romance novel locked in a half-dressed passionate clinch. The hero was replaced with Ranger. Suddenly I was in the place of heroine.

_His hand wrapped itself in her flowing black curls and he pulled her closer to him, claiming her mouth with his own. She felt his rock hard muscles flex as his other hand found its way among the petticoats and skirt to the section of her thigh that was bare and trailed a delicious path up to her …_

WHOA! My eyes flew open and I reached for my bottle of water, downing most of it in one long drink. Ranger glanced briefly in my direction, his attention most likely drawn to the sudden movement. I gave him what I hoped was a convincing, but knew to be weak, smile and he turned back to his surveillance. I leaned back and closed my eyes again. It was as if my mind's eye had simply been on pause and now resumed. Again, I sat up. Okay, this isn't going to work obviously. One of the reasons I love Ms. Douglas's writing is the clear imagery that stays with you but this was just a tad bit inconvenient. Of course, it didn't help matters that we had been abruptly interrupted back at my apartment. The two hours spent reading hadn't dampened my body's response any. If anything, my overactive imagination had added unnecessary fuel to the fire. If I didn't get my mind onto something else, I was likely to do something really extreme and probably embarrass myself even more than usual.

"I smell something burning there, Babe. Deep thoughts?"

_Oh, you have no idea._ "Sort of. I was thinking about embarrassing moments." Which was true enough. The embarrassing moment I'd been thinking about hadn't happened yet, since I hadn't crossed the gear shift console and kissed Ranger to within an inch of his life – or mine.

He stared at me a beat. "And?"

"I wondered what your most embarrassing moment was."

"Babe."

"Ran-ger. You asked." I turned towards him, hands on hips. "Besides, if you don't talk to me I'm going to go crazy just sitting here."

Ranger nodded his head towards the novel still on my lap. "Finish that already?"

"Yes, I was already most of the way done and you didn't give me time to grab another one or anything else. If you don't want to talk about your most embarrassing moment, talk to me about something else. Tell me something about when you were a kid."

Ranger looked away and I sighed. I was just about to resign myself to insanity by sheer boredom when he spoke.

"There isn't much to tell really. I've already told you about growing up in Newark and the time I spent in juvie. I lived with my grandmother in Miami during high school. That's when I met Tank."

"Really? I thought you two met in the service." This was an interesting turn of events. I might find out something more about Tank as well as about Ranger. He turned back to face me.

"No, we first met the first day of our sophomore year of high school." Ranger expelled a small gust of air that for anyone else might have been considered a rueful chuckle, a small sideways smile playing on his lips.

"Tell me about that day, please?" I asked him, playfully batting my eyelashes at him.

Ranger shifted in his seat a bit, and positioned himself so he could still watch for his quarry but wasn't facing completely away from me. "I was a stupid hotshot punk kid. Just out of juvie, settling into a new state, a new school. I wanted to prove how big a badass I was from the very beginning. I looked around my homeroom class and there was this huge mountain of a black guy sitting in the back of the room. I took his measure and realized even if I didn't win, I'd have earned some respect for taking him on. Stupid flawed teenage logic. Of course, I didn't really think I wouldn't win; after all, I was Mr. Big Bad Ass Carlos Manoso, the Cuban answer to LeRoy Brown. Tank, or rather Pierre as he was still known then, kicked my ass thirty ways to Sunday that afternoon when I came at him during lunch period. I gave him a fairly wide berth after that, as far as things go. We met up again when we were both in the Army and assigned to the same recruit squad several years later. That's when our friendship really began."

Ranger got quiet again and this time I let him. He was alert as ever but I suspected another part of his mind was adrift in memories. I tried to picture Ranger and Tank as teenagers. I was still having a hard time accomplishing that when Ranger spoke.

"So, Babe…tell me about one of your first days of school." He turned and flashed me his fifty-watt smile, which was still enough to dazzle me and numb my brain. I started speaking before I realized it.

"My first day of Junior High as a seventh grader is one I'll never forget thanks to Joyce Barnhart. My mother and Valerie had spent the two weeks before school started convincing me that as a young lady in junior high I needed to wear a dress to school. So I finally agreed and they picked out a really girly pink dress with lots of flounce and ruffles, matching pink tights and black patent leather Mary Janes. Honestly, I looked ridiculous." I rolled my eyes and cringed at the memory, then continued. "We were in the lunch line when Joyce Barnhart 'accidently' knocked into the back of me, sending not only her lunch tray of food all over the back of me, but causing me to drop my lunch tray so that the contents landed all over the front of my dress. Since Mom had already picked Valerie up for a dental appointment that day, they couldn't get a hold of her to bring me another outfit or take me home, so I had to spend the whole rest of the day covered in beef stew and salad dressing." With that, I turned to face out the passenger window. _Damn Joyce._ Ranger was very quiet and then I realized the SUV was shaking slightly. I looked over at him. The jerk was silently laughing at me. I gave him a death glare and pressed my lips together until they practically disappeared.

When he finally got himself under control again, he grinned at me. "I'm seeing a pattern here Babe. You wearing food."

I growled at him. _JERK!_

_

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AN: This second part was a challenge response from PerfectlyPlum's first writing challenge of the month. It sort of goes here but I may decide it doesn't belong in the finished version. I sincerely hope I am back into the writing routine here soon. Also, in case anyone doesn't recognize the reference -- LeRoy Brown -- go look up some Jim Croce stuff and you'll find a song about Bad, Bad, LeRoy Brown...  
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	15. AMoM His POV

AN: This particular character is mine but the rest mentioned here aren't. This is AMoM as seen from the stalker's POV. If this bit goes over well, I'll continue to write on both versions of AMoM, although this version will most likely serve strictly as challenge bait. Please let me know if it is worth continuing on

I decided it was best to include it as part of the original AMoM here on FF and will intersperse the various parts as they are done...my apologies if this is winds up to be too confusing to follow going back and forth....(also, I just noted that FF killed off all my apostrophes - among other punctuation marks - in the upload so if I miss a few, please understand but also let me know so I can fix them -- thanks!)

* * *

I sat there at the bar, beer in hand. I'd had a tough day but apparently not as tough as the guy sitting next to me. Joe was his name, I guess. That's how a few of the folks around us had greeted him. I'd been here about a half hour. He'd come in about ten minutes after I had, mumbling under his breath about some cupcake needing to grow up. I might be taking a wild guess here that he wasn't talking about a pastry, but hey, you never know what floats someone's boat. This Joe character drained his second beer and signaled the bartender for another one. As his beer arrived, I heard the most precious voice start to sing Shania Twain's Any Man of Mine. We both swiveled on our bar stools to face the stage. The fella next to me raked his hand through his dark hair, and shook his head. I didn't blame him -- she was a beauty. Luscious dark curls, a sweet voice, a vaguely familiar face, and even from here, I could tell that her eyes were blue. She zeroed in on me, sending me a message loud and clear about the kind of guy she wanted hell, _needed_. One who would support her and always be there for her. I knew I could do that. She must have sensed that I could as well; she kept her eyes on me practically the whole time until she finished and bowed her head down to catch her breath. I had to know who she was.

"And there is Trenton's own Bombshell Bounty Hunter. Pay attention guys, I think she was pretty clear in what she's looking for in a guy. Do you think you have what it takes to keep her happy?" Behind him, Bombshell left the stage, face flushed.

Of course! Now I knew where I'd seen her before -- in the paper a while back when there was that huge fire that practically gutted one of the local funeral parlors. She worked for that mobbed-up sleaze over on Hamilton Avenue. I started to say something to Joe about her, but when I turned around he was gone.

She cast a longing look back in my direction, biting her lower lip, but didn't say anything or make a move to come over here. I guess she was a bit shy and probably a bit unsure of herself. I watched Bombshell leave with two of her friends and immediately started thinking of how to let her know I'd gotten her message loud and clear. That she had no reason to be unsure of herself. That I would love and support her until the world came to an end. I was the perfect guy for her and she was the perfect woman for me - such spirit, such spunk, such beauty. Now I just had to make sure she knew it as well as I did.

I finished my beer, paid my tab, and went home. Once home, I looked up the exact address of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds on Hamilton and commenced an Internet search for the meaning behind the different colors of roses, seeking to find the color that would perfectly convey the depth of my emotion to Bombshell.

Bombshell. Bombshell. I said the name aloud a few times, relishing the sound of it, the way it felt on my lips.

Red was so typical, so common; it just wasn't special enough for my Bombshell. Pink too mellow. Yellow as strictly friendship was out. This was so much more than friendship. White would be good for our wedding. I'd give her whatever she wanted for our wedding but I would insist on the white roses; with all their purity and implications of new beginnings, they would be perfect. I've never much liked the look of orange roses and so discounted them immediately. I scrolled a little further down the page and saw the Holy Grail of roses. Lavender enchantment, love at first sight. That was exactly how I was feeling at the moment; her voice enchanted me, and I fell in love with her at first sight. I'm sure she felt the same. After all, she could hardly keep her eyes off of me as she sang.

I placed an order for a dozen roses and made arrangements to pick them up myself. I would personally deliver them to the bonds office.

I went to bed with sweet thoughts of my wonderful Bombshell serenading me

The next morning I rose bright and early. I hurried through my morning shower, throwing on the first outfit I pulled out of my closet and headed to Flora's Florals. I picked up the roses and took them directly to the office. They were still closed so I decided to leave them at the door and position myself in such a way that I would be able to observe the delight on Bombshell's face when she saw them.

I watched a squat, Betty Boop look-a-like show up. Unlocking the door she spotted the roses. I saw her face light up and then fall when she realized they weren't for her. Sorry honey better luck next time. Not every woman can be as lucky as my Bombshell. About two hours later one of the women from the bar last night, a large black woman dressed in not enough clothing, showed up and I saw the two women conversing over the flowers, even reading the card. How dare they?! They clearly weren't Bombshell. As I watched them quickly place the card back into its envelope as if they had never touched it, my sweet Angel arrived. My breath caught in my throat; she looked even more beautiful this morning.

She sauntered into the office, hips swaying and I had to check my mouth for drool. In anticipation I couldn't take my eyes away from her as she spoke with the other two, and read my note. In exhilaration, her knees gave out on her and she fainted. I knew she'd feel the same way. She must know they are from me.

Gleefully, I rubbed my hands together and headed out. Time to work on the next part of my mission to capture the Bombshell Bounty Hunter

Part 2A

I went to the library since it was closer than my apartment. I needed to find out some more information on my sweet Bombshell Angel. For starters, her name would be nice. Plus where she lived. I needed to know where to pick her up for a date after all. I signed up to use one of the patron computers and did a search for Bombshell Bounty Hunter Trenton and got back zero hits. That's strange. I tried various other combinations of search terms I could think of including fire, funeral home, Stiva's, Chambersburg. I continued to search in vain for any sign or site pertaining to my sweet one. I couldn't find any information on her via the Internet at all. I knew I'd seen newspaper articles about her; after all, the story about the funeral parlor going up in flames was a big deal on a local level. So I approached the reference desk and spoke to the librarian.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for information on a local celebrity, the Bombshell Bounty Hunter. I can't seem to find any information on the web about her and my... uh... my daughter is interested in doing a report for her at school. Her topic is strong women in unusual careers. Do you have some of the articles in past newspapers, by any chance?"

The librarian **look**ed at me through bespectacled **eyes**. Her **gaze** was piercing and I felt as though the green surrounding her **pupils** was as sharp as emeralds and cut right through my flimsy cover story. Removing the **glasses** from her face and allowing them to dangle on a chain around her neck, she began to stand up.

"Yes, it's a very odd situation that one. We carry back copies of the newspapers of course, with microfilm versions of the older editions. However, it seems someone else is very taken with this Bombshell gal. Every article which mentions her at all has been removed from our back copies. Every time we get another back issue in on film, those same frames wind up damaged within hours of their arrival. We've just decided she was meant to be more urban legend than reality."

I thought I should at least keep up the pretense of the cover story I had started. I didn't want to attract too much attention to myself as being too interested but at the same time, I knew a parent would ask a few more questions.

"Do you happen to know where I might find someone who knows more about her or where I could find other copies of the paper? My daughter has her **sight**s set on doing this exact topic. Can you point me in any other direction?"

"Well, since she is a local gal, her best bet would be to try and speak with some of the ladies active in the church fellowship group. I'm pretty sure one of them is a retired school teacher from the area. I'm sure your daughter could find out all sorts of interesting stories about her that way and lend a real personal touch to her paper." The arched eyebrow made it clear to me that she didn't exactly believe my story but was answering my questions anyway. I decided to get out while the getting was good.

"Thank you. I'll make sure she does that." I barely kept from stammering and backed away until I was just out of her sight and then I turned and fled. I didn't exactly run but I moved with all due haste.

I spent the rest of the day hanging around various places in town, trying to catch any sort of lead I could on the true identity of my mystery woman. I struck out that day, but I was determined. I figured I'd try and trail her a bit the next day to see where she went and see if I could find any more out about her that way. She was certainly playing hard to get, the little minx. At home, I arranged another flower order for the morning. Tulips this time. What I had them put on the card was a bit cheesy, I'll admit, but it was also very true. I longed for the day I heard her two lips say my name.

Thinking about that day gave me shivers. As I played my copy of Any Man of Mine, I heard her voice singing it again and began to tease my body in anticipation... the payoff would be worth this game, I just knew it.

(bolded words are from Denny's Nov holiday challenge 2009)

I stretched luxuriously moments before my alarm was set to wake me. I looked around at the tangled mess I slept in and ruefully shook my head. I had slept so deliciously sound after allowing myself the sweet torture of imagining our soon to be wedding night and pleasured myself as the scenes played in my mind. Well, up and at em. Today is the day I find out the name of my true love and I had flowers to pick up.

Once again, I left the flowers on the doorstep to the Bonds office. This time the Betty Boop look-a-like was more subdued in her reaction, but picked them up and put them on her desk with yesterday's roses all the same. I was going to have to speak with my Angel about leaving her flowers around so carelessly.

Moments later and looking thoroughly refreshed, my sweet Angel promptly headed directly for her flowers upon her arrival to the office, inhaled deeply and discreetly took my love note so those two busybodies couldn't read it. After a few moments of conversation, she headed back out to her car. I was ready today to follow her wherever she may go and fell into place behind her vehicle.

I waited in the car until a few other customers had followed her into the Tasty Pastry and hit pay dirt as I heard the **counter** clerk say, "Hey Stephanie, what'll you have today? Can I get you a **dozen jelly dough**nuts, or how about some **sugar glaze**d? They are fresh out of the fryer and each one is a real **winner**." I was so absorbed in the realization that my Angel, my sweet Bombshell, was named Stephanie that I didn't catch her reply or any of the other conversations going on around me. Stephanie. Stephanie. Steph-a-nie. It was a beautiful sound and felt right on my lips.

Stephanie - how I delighted in being able to say her name - placed a call before starting the engine. I stayed a car length behind her the whole way back to the office and I realized I knew very little about what her daily life was like. I knew what it _would_ be like when we were married, but I thought it important to know what it was like now. It would help me to help her adjust better to the changes when she would stay home and raise our babies.

A black Porsche pulled up in front of the office at about the same time we did. A tall man dressed all in black was driving it and after he exited the sports car, he walked over to Stephanie and put his arm around her shoulder. How Dare He!? Stephanie was to be my wife, not some source of trifling amusement to some jerk with a fancy car. I was seeing red when he kissed her on the forehead and lead her into the office with his arm still around her shoulders. I briefly considered doing some serious body damage to that asshole's fancy pants car but figured it would be too obvious and I'd get caught. I couldn't rescue Stephanie from this life she was living if I was behind bars. I'd have to find out more about this guy as well and see that he clearly understood that my sweet Angel and I were meant to be together, in this life and for all eternity.

I focused on calming down while Stephanie conducted her business in the Bonds office. By the time she left with the large black woman riding shotgun, I was able to follow her and put the punk out of my mind for the moment. I would deal with him later. I parked across the street when my Angel pulled up in front of a rather non-descript residence with what would have been a vintage style car in the drive if someone put in the time to keep it up properly. It's hard to say what exactly went on inside the house, but by the time they came back out, dragging a limp body between them, they were covered in paint or something similar. Since the unconscious guy between them was not similarly decorated, I figured he must be the one who caused this. I took note of the address we were at. If he liked things colorful, I'd be happy to oblige him much later this evening.


End file.
